Recently, Andrew wrote in to say that the woman he was involved with suffered from narcissistic personality disorder and he was so glad he had severed his ties with her. His tale inspired Charlotte.
She says: "You will never know what a God send your article was. It validated what my heart already knew and empowered me to stay strong in my decision to force my son to leave my home and start taking responsibility for himself."
Charlotte was a single mom till Jason was 11 years old. She worked two jobs to support them, with no help from his father. From a very young age, she knew Jason was very bright, but he had problems.
"When he was nine, his teachers told me he was extremely charismatic, but manipulative and could con a hungry dog off of a meat truck," she says.
As the years went by, Jason exhibited more disturbing behavior. His only friends were those he could bully and control. Neighbors called him a "terror." She took him to counseling, but nothing worked.
"Everything that went wrong in his life was someone else's fault," she says. "He told everyone I was the worst mother in the world and that he had had a horrible childhood although we lived in middle class neighborhoods and he went to the best of schools."
At 21, Jason became a father. The mother was 18. Charlotte says: "Their relationship was a disaster from the start. He didn't have a job and neither of them had any parenting skills."
Jason is now 30. In the past nine years, he has caused a fire in Charlotte's home, totaled two of her cars and cost her $75,000. He's been arrested for domestic violence and dealing drugs but never convicted.
Throughout all this, Charlotte had one overriding belief: "It was my job to stand by my son no matter what, cleaning up every mess he created."
Until recently, Jason and his son, now 8 years old, were living with her. "I had the honor of footing 90 percent of the household finances as well as being the caregiver to his son whom he rarely spent any time with," she says.
And then Charlotte learned that Jason had fathered another child with a teenager he met on the internet.
"It was then that I realized that my only child is a narcissist," she says. "The pain it caused me to finally see him for what he is and to accept that I contributed to his behavior by coddling him all his life and trying to make up for his father being absent was almost unbearable.
"But once I learned about the new baby, I gave him a deadline for moving out. He refused to talk to me or his son and left in the middle of the night.
"I know there are others involved with narcissists who are trying desperately to win their affection, but it's impossible. They're heartless and soulless. This has been a painful and expensive journey for me, but God has seen me through once more. I am guilt free and have peace in my home for the first time in 30 years."
Have you lived with or loved a narcissist or sociopath? Send your tale, along with your questions, problems and rants to cheryllavinrapp@gmail.com. And check out my ebooks, "Dear Cheryl: Advice from Tales from the Front" and "I'll Call You. Not."
View Comments