We recently heard from "Am I Naive, or What?" She's divorced and looking for a man who wants companionship, not sex, "someone intellectually stimulating to talk to and to go to movies with."

All he has to be is "clean, over 35, under 65, reasonably pleasant to look at, confident, happy within himself who would enjoy doing things with someone of the opposite sex."

I said such a man exists and the trick is to find him.

Here's what you had to say.

SHERRY: Is a date without sex too much to ask? Yes! That woman is naive. I've dated via the internet for seven years. I've met many nice men with good jobs who are clean and decent and only want is sex for the price of a dinner or a drink. Companionship is not on their agenda. Neither is having a relationship. I've dated men from age 35 to 70, and in my experience they're all the same. It's sad, but that's the way of the world nowadays.

KATIE: I understand the challenges that AINOW? faces in looking for that kind of man. The challenge to me is not the no sex part of the equation; it's the rest of it!

In the last 10 years, I've discovered that there are a growing number of men over 35 who are poorly groomed and unhappy within themselves. They also lack confidence. Men fitting this description are the segment of the population who are most likely to be losing their jobs to women. They're often dependent upon another woman for financial support.

This situation causes these men to become surly, lack confidence and stop grooming themselves — in that order. If a man does not actually lose his job to a woman, he still sees the trend happening to his friends and members of his family, and the cycle begins for him. In my father's day, men were disappointed and considered a failure if they couldn't take care of their families. Men may still feel this way but be in denial about what causes the cycle to begin.

I know a number of women who support their surly, demanding, poorly groomed husbands and lovers. Although they pay the bills, they're ordered around by these unhappy, unkempt men.

If AINOW? finds one of the few men who are happy, confident and reasonably pleasant to look at, she may want to share the benefits of sex with this equal. Until then, she should just enjoy dinners and movies with her female friends.

EDDIE: I'm over 35 and under 65, clean and not gay. I would enjoy having good conversation with an attractive woman over a nice meal. I feel spending time with someone you enjoy being with is first and foremost. I refuse to go to bars or join a dating service. I feel if it's meant to be, then it will happen. If not, so be it. I sowed my oats a while ago and would enjoy conversation and companionship.

Got a problem? Send it, along with your questions and rants to cheryllavinrapp@gmail.com. And check out my e-books, "Dear Cheryl: Advice from Tales from the Front" and "I'll Call You. Not."