Dear Cheryl: I'm recently single after many years of marriage. I have many questions about dating: Who asks whom out on a date? Who pays for the date? What do I do about my Spanx shapewear when hands start to roam? Who says "I love you" first? — New to This

Dear New to This: Either person can ask the other out. Who pays depends on a lot of things, like who's got the money, who initiated the date, and if it's the second or third date, who paid last, etc. Whoever feels comfortable saying "I love you" should say it.

Readers, I need some help with number three.

Dear Cheryl: You have talked about other readers' experiences with sociopathic men. Well, I don't know the clinical term for my husband, but he's a two-faced, hypocritical, foul-mouthed individual.

He can be one the nicest, silver-tongued men when others are around. The neighbors love him. But when we're home alone, he's a rude, vulgar, nasty, vicious, poisonous bigot. He's a bully. He usually uses decent language around the grandkids, but apparently his home is his castle and he can do and say whatever he wants. But he obviously doesn't live there alone.

Whatever happened to what I like or what I want? What are my rights? Does it make him feel big and important to treat me like dirt in our home, where I'm supposed to be loved and respected?

We both need therapy: He needs it because he's such a fake, and I need it because I've stayed with the jerk. But he would never go; he doesn't think there's anything wrong with the way he treats me. So, is he a sociopath? — Just Wondering

Dear Just Wondering: I really don't know about him, but you're about to blow.

You need to talk to a therapist and a lawyer. Talk to a therapist to find out why you continue to stay with him and to help you get the strength to leave — if that's what you want. And talk to a lawyer to find out what you're entitled to if you do leave him.

Dear Cheryl: My wife and I have been married for 36 years, and during that time our sex life has had its ups and downs, but mostly its downs the last few years. Some time ago I began to try and talk about it with her, but she would just shut down.

I purchased a book about the top sexual needs of men and women to read it in hopes of getting her to be open with me about her sexual needs and desires. I asked her to read it, which she did. But she would not talk about it. I finally grew tired of trying and threw the book away.

Not long after, she told me that she was brought up to not talk about sex, and she couldn't talk about it now. So we slid back into our once-a-week (if that) mundane sex. I have just about decided to tell her to forget it and that I'll just take care of my needs myself. Any advice? — Out of Hope

Dear Out of Hope: After 36 years of marriage, your wife's blushing bride routine is a little ridiculous. Tell her if she can't talk to you about sex, then the two of you need to talk to a therapist. She might prefer going alone at first.

There's no need for you to settle for a ho-hum sex life for another 20 or 30 years of marriage.

Got a problem? Send it, along with your questions and rants to cheryllavinrapp@gmail.com. And check out my e-book, "Dear Cheryl: Advice from Tales from the Front."