Mad Kisser is the woman who gave her date a "peck" after he took her on three very nice dates but didn't kiss or hug her when he dropped her off. He never called her again, and she wondered whether she did the wrong thing.
I said, no way! — "This guy is gay and knows it and looking for a cover, or gay and doesn't know it, or asexual, or socially inept to the point of paralysis."
Here's what you had to say:
KEN: I resent your assertion that MK's date must be gay if he isn't into kissing by the third date. (I never said that! That was just one possibility.) Most gay guys today, whether out or not, aren't interested in stringing along straight women.
Perhaps he wasn't into MK and her assertiveness made him realize she was moving in a direction he didn't want to take. While it was rude of him to disappear, his reaction isn't entirely unexpected in this age of free love and 10-minute dates.
(You're comparing a "peck" to free love? And what is "free love," anyway? Didn't that expression go out with bell-bottomed jeans and fringed vests?)
GRETCHEN: What her date undoubtedly thought when MK kissed him was that she was asking him for sex. That killed all the fun for him. To most men, the best thing about sex is the chase. Once he's won the race, there's nothing left to look forward to.
(I know men really like the chase, but they really like sex, too. I don't know many men who would think getting a "peck" is equal to winning the race!)
BRAD: Maybe MK had bad breath, got drunk at dinner or did something else offensive.
(Then the "peck" wasn't the issue. He was never going to call her anyway.)
ARNIE: Did it occur to you that he might be a normal healthy heterosexual male who simply wasn't physically attracted to MK? Ah, I can hear you thinking, "Then why did he go out on second and third dates with her?" Well, it could be that he really enjoyed her company and just wanted to be friends, or was trying to gradually warm up to her.
(Sorry, you don't treat a new friend to three nice dinners. Those were dates, not friendly outings. And why would MK want to be with a guy who needs to "warm up" to her?)
CALLIE: I met my husband at work. Our friendship grew over three years. During our fourth year, we became engaged. Although we were intimate, we didn't sleep together until after we were married. We've been happily married for 25 years.
People are too caught up in sex and give it up too easily. What happened to getting to know someone and then sharing the most beautiful and private thing with them after making a commitment to each other?
(You're talking about sex. I'm talking about a "peck." If your husband had given you a peck on the cheek on the third date, would you have stopped seeing him? If you had given him one, would he have stopped seeing you?)
Maybe MK's date thought she was being slutty and pushing to get him in the sack. Just because men may not want to kiss someone right away doesn't automatically mean they're gay. A man who shows self-control and respect for a woman should be the norm, not the exception.
(She was slutty because she gave him a peck? You set the slut bar pretty darn low!)
Men are you turned off by aggressive women? Send your tale, along with your questions and rants to cheryllavinrapp@gmail.com. And check out my e-books, "Dear Cheryl: Advice from Tales from the Front" and "I'll Call You. Not.
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