Lady Chatterley found bliss in the arms of the caretaker when Lord Chatterley just wasn't cutting it anymore. It was quite shocking. While men have never had a problem "dating down," historically, women have "dated up." But that, along with just about everything else, is changing.

Take Heather and Pat, for instance. She's a 38-year-old college professor with a Ph.D. in romance languages. He's a 42-year-old carpet installer. She shops at Nordstrom; he likes K-Mart. She's dovish on military spending. His philosophy is bombs away. Yet, to Heather's amazement, she's fallen in love with a man who prefers Dunkin' Donuts to Starbucks.

They met at a singles' party several months ago when he asked her to dance. They had a great time that night, and he asked if she cared to go out. She went. He asked her out again. She wondered if she should continue with this. They really didn't have that much in common. But she found herself missing him. She called him back, and they've seen each other about four times a week ever since. They've even talked about marriage.

"I'm attracted to him," Heather explains. "He's very masculine. He's sexy. The chemistry is right." She likes that he can do physical things that the professional men she's dated couldn't or wouldn't. Everything from fixing a drippy faucet to changing her oil. She doesn't mind his double negatives anymore, though they used to drive her crazy. She doesn't care that he refuses to help with the cooking or the laundry even though her ex-husband dutifully shared those chores.

They have a rich, down-to-earth life together. He's introduced her to his world. They bowl, something she hasn't done since high school. They've been canoeing. They go out to eat, usually ma-and-pop-type places, not the fancy new restaurants that get rave reviews in the paper.

She finds she enjoys doting on him. "I'll pick up a salad after work so I don't have to cook, and then he'll come over and I'll make something for him," she says. "I never would have done that before. Maybe I'm nuts, but I guess it's because I really like him and he provides a tremendous amount of affection for me. So I tell myself it's a small price to pay."

Sometimes small problems arise when Heather has to grade papers or prepare a lecture and Pat becomes impatient. When he punches out, his time is his own.

"He thinks of his job in terms of hours, and I think of mine in terms of getting the job done." Heather says.

Once in a while, Heather thinks maybe the relationship has gone as far as it can and she should break it off, a thought that makes her feel "snobby." But in general she has no problem introducing Pat around. For one thing, several of her friends are in or have been in the same position.

"One is a Ph.D. who married a cop. Another has a master's degree in social work and is dating a plumber. Another, a professor, married a mechanic. I don't think you can draw any big cultural trend from us. We've just all found nice guys who happen to work with their hands. We're lucky."

Would you be comfortable dating and/or marrying someone who wears a different collar? Send your tale, along with your questions, problems and rants to cheryllavinrapp@gmail.com.