A friend of mine was telling me about the moment he realized there is a downside to dating younger women. (We all know the upside: unlined faces, firm bodies, no history, little baggage). But the downside came home to him one day when he was out with a 20-something and mentioned Woodward and Bernstein.

She asked him if it was a law firm.

That's when he realized that dating down — age-wise — was just too much trouble. There was too much to explain, too much to clarify, too much to teach. In short, it was too exhausting.

Barrett agrees.

He says: "I consider myself somewhat experienced in May-December relationships. In my case, it's the older man-younger woman situation. It's not exactly the same as older woman-younger man relationship, but it's similar. At least the part about fooling ourselves that the differences don't matter when they do."

We've had an ongoing conversation with If the Cougar Fits, who likes younger men but says she isn't going to have sex with them.

Says Barrett, "If she's being honest with herself, she's going to have to admit that she likes younger men for physical reasons. They're less likely to have a thick midsection, a saggy butt, and a flabby belly. They have more hair and less of it is grey. And, as a bonus, there are fewer ex-wives and kids to deal with."

That's the good news. The bad news?

"She'll likely find those same young men lacking intellectually. She may be able to ignore it until they embarrass her at a nice dinner or business-related function, in front of her friends or family or co-workers."

And she will certainly feel the inequality in life experiences. You can't fault them for it, but they don't know the kinds of things that only life teaches you.

Barrett says she might get tired of explaining for the umpteenth time every reference she makes to a TV show, movie, book or event that happened before her date was born.

Awkward!

"At some point," says Barrett, "she'll find that she gets tired of overlooking these shortcomings and craves a man more on her own level to whom she can relate. I've seen women and men who fool themselves for a long time, pretending they're into everything their younger partner is interested in. And then one day, there's a deal breaker that makes them realize that their priorities are entirely different. For instance, maybe your kid is graduating school. It's a big deal to you, but your young partner doesn't see what the big deal is.

"Perhaps one day the older half of the couple will just get tired of dumbing down their conversations to topics and levels that will resonate with their young partner and end up craving someone to whom they can relate. The price the older half of the couple ends up paying in terms of settling for less than they want in a companion may simply be too much.

"ITCF may convince herself that sex is not what she's in it for, but it may be the only thing she really has in common with her young men."

Have you been in a May-December relationship? How did that work for you? Send your tale, along with your questions, problems and rants to cheryllavinrapp@gmail.com. And check out my e-books, "Dear Cheryl: Advice from Tales from the Front" and "I'll Call You. Not."

Photo credit: at Pixabay