Dennis' dating profile reads like one long yuckfest. And while a little humor is great, too much is like eating whipped cream for dinner: revolting.

So, I asked you to help Dennis. Here are your thoughts ...

ALEX: One minute Dennis sounds like a guy with high standards. The next minute he's calling himself pathetic. Neither is alluring. He's gotten some dates because a few women have decided he was nervous and just trying to be funny. But clearly, something is going wrong on the dates if they tell him to take a hike.

My advice is simple: The comedy routine isn't working, and it needs to stop. Rewrite your profile. Make it a lot simpler. Concentrate on how you're ready to meet that special lady and the nice times you'd like to have with her. All that women want is to be desired. Let that guide you.

BRETT: It's OK to feel lonely. Just don't be The Lonely Guy. Lead with your strong suit. If you don't have a strong suit, then it's time to talk to a therapist about why.

CARLIN: He has no self-esteem. He's not like a puppy dog saying, "Buy me. Buy me." He's a puppy dog saying, "No one likes me. No one likes me."

MELANIE: If only every man could be this honest, even to a fault. Women say they want honesty, and then when it hits them in the face, they get upset. Don't change, Dennis. You'll find someone who appreciates you.

CHRIS: If all he's really looking for is someone to go out to dinner with, he shouldn't pretend he's looking for a relationship. He's not sure he wants one.

MARY: Dennis needs a comedienne. He should sign up for a class at a comedy club. What he wants is not a wife or a girlfriend but a scene partner. He presents himself as a sitcom stereotype, which leaves his date with no recourse but to volley one-liners back at him, and that's not conversation. It's work.

ROE: You say you're a "silly man." Look up silly in the dictionary — "showing a lack of good sense, foolish, stupid." How is that attractive to a woman?

When it comes to politics, you say you're "middle of the road." That sounds wishy-washy. Are you really an independent who chooses your politics based on the issues? Then say you're an independent. It sounds stronger than middle of the road.

Are you referring to sex when you say, "In five years I will be like a dog that chases cars. If I caught one, I wouldn't know what to do with it"? Delete it.

Forget the whole rant that starts with "I will never respond to ..." State in the affirmative what you want, but cut out the joking. It's annoying.

Your last sentence — "I'm looking for a woman who will upset my 'well-ordered' life ... and I will enjoy every minute of it" — is very sweet.

Be yourself, your real self, the one you've been hiding behind all the wise cracks. The real you is lonely and wants a date.

LINDA: Tell Dennis to be patient and not change. He sounds like a lot of fun, and if I weren't engaged to a wonderful fun man, I would go out with him.

Does your profile need a makeover? Send it, along with your questions, problems and rants to cheryllavinrapp@gmail.com. And check out my e-books, "Dear Cheryl: Advice from Tales from the Front" and "I'll Call You. Not."