Dennis' dating profile sounds like he's applying for a job as a comedy writer, not looking for a date. So, I asked you to help Dennis. Here are your thoughts ...
MICK: Dennis needs to lose the won'ts and don'ts in his ad. Way too negative and judgmental. Just state what you do want and be nice about it. Second, the "time is running out on me" angle smacks of desperation. Desperation is the world's worst smelling cologne!
ANNE: Dennis sounds like he has a huge inferiority complex. His profile says, "I'm not attractive. I have no money. I'm not good enough and don't deserve a good relationship, and I wouldn't know what to do if I attracted one!"
I've got news for Dennis: Women are not attracted to this! How can you sell yourself to someone if you don't believe in what you're selling?
TIFFANY: I liked the profile. I laughed the whole way through. My advice for Dennis is to just keep on fishing! You're bound to find a woman who makes you happy. Whether it's today or in five years, it will happen.
JOANNA: Too many negatives. Thirty-eight years ago, I'd have said I'd never date a guy with short hair who wears cowboy boots all the time. I was a long-haired hippie chick and preferred my guys the same way. Then, a short-haired guy with tight jeans and cowboy boots walked into the singles group, and the rest is history. Within a year, I was wearing cowboy boots occasionally.
GRACE: I wouldn't waste one single second responding to Dennis. It sounds like the resume of a man who doesn't want the job. He talks as though he has one foot in the grave. Is he 90 years old? Or has been diagnosed with a terminal illness? Otherwise he's just negative, and negativity breeds negativity, hopelessness and depression. Women go on dates to have fun!
He says women have responded to him with "outright hostility." The way he's written his profile, he's looking for hostility but doesn't know it. In order to be lovable to others, you have to first love yourself. Dennis' profile sounds like he despises himself.
PENNY: I'm afraid it's the way he acts on dates that's the problem. The "silly" and "acquired taste" might be a clue. Women his age are past the "silly" stage and are looking for a more mature guy. The mention of "I can only afford one extra meal" indicates he has no money. Women in their later years aren't looking for someone to support, unless he also does windows.
MADDIE: Maybe I'm weird, but I'd respond out of sheer curiosity. If I weren't already married, I'd say, "Hey, let's go catch a cup of coffee. I'd like to see if we'd wind up friends, lovers or hate each other on sight." Dennis sounds like he's ready to share his life with someone and would throw himself wholeheartedly into the commitment to do so. That's pretty darned rare.
Does your profile need a makeover? Send it, along with your questions, problems and rants to cheryllavinrapp@gmail.com. And check out my e-books, "Dear Cheryl: Advice from Tales from the Front" and "I'll Call You. Not."
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