Q: I'm an eighth-grader in a very small school, and I'm already worried about high school. It's a big one, and I want to be considered a normal teenager. How do I find the right friendship group and know what kids to avoid? I'm worried about peer pressure to try drugs and alcohol. How can I be myself and still fit in?

A: Most eighth-graders worry about high school, and even some ninth-graders continue to worry at the beginning of the school year. Moving from a very small school to a very large one can be scary, but most students actually feel quite relieved after the first few weeks of high school. There are definitely new opportunities, but you'll probably find friends in your classes that like the same activities as you. If you regularly do the required schoolwork as you have before, you'll undoubtedly find you will feel both challenged and successful.

There's no doubt that some students in your school you'll want to avoid. Certainly those students who drink alcohol or use drugs should not become your good friends. In some schools, this category may include many students; in other schools, just a few, if any. If these students are not close friends, you won't feel pressure to use drugs or alcohol. You can choose friends based on your interests and values.

Extracurricular activities can help you find friendship groups that share your interests. Scouts and religious organizations are almost always good groups to join. High schools also have debate, speech, drama, math, engineering, science clubs and teams. Model Congress and United Nations are clubs that invite students who are interested in government and global issues. Sports teams can bring you into contact with kids who share your favorite physical activities and should be following athletic guidelines, which tend to not allow drug use.

If you surround yourself by friends who share your interests and values, you won't even be tempted or invited to try drugs and alcohol. Instead, you'll find your life very busy, interesting and challenging. Finding enough time to follow all your interests can sometimes become a struggle, so you'll have to choose your favorites. This isn't to say you won't have some ups and downs in high school. All kids have a few struggles that are part of gradually moving toward adulthood and becoming stronger. If you do feel lonely, anxious or depressed, don't hesitate to ask your parents if you can see someone for counseling. Plenty of high school and even college students do just that so that they can figure themselves out as their worlds expand. Seeing a counselor doesn't imply you have a long-term or serious problem. It's just always best to ask for some help before minor problems become major ones. It's also possible your parents or favorite teachers can offer you insights about worries that come up.

For more information, please refer to my books "Growing Up Too Fast" (Rodale, 2005) and/or "How Jane Won" (Three Rivers Press, 2001). Dr. Sylvia B. Rimm is the director of the Family Achievement Clinic in Cleveland, Ohio, a clinical professor of psychiatry and pediatrics at the Case Western Reserve University School of Medicine, and the author of many books on parenting. More information on raising kids is available at www.sylviarimm.com. Please send questions to: Sylvia B. Rimm on Raising Kids, P.O. Box 32, Watertown, WI 53094 or srimm@sylviarimm.com. To read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.