Q: My kindergartner has mood swings. She may have a tantrum with a violent outburst one minute and will be completely calm the next, as if nothing had happened. Should we have her evaluated by a psychologist? What should we do to help?

A: Young children can be fairly volatile, so it's hard for me to tell by your description whether your problems with her are potentially difficult to the degree of a disorder, or whether setting up some structure and boundaries can help her be more predictable and calmer. In my book "Raising Preschoolers" (Three Rivers Press, 1997), I suggest parents view themselves as teachers. If there are some reasonably predictable schedules at home with alternating responsibilities, guided and free play, children learn to do many of the positive things parents expect. When they receive praise, smiles and good feedback in return, they will be encouraged to keep up the favorable behavior.

Of course, all children explore and even push limits from time to time, but if parent boundaries are united and clear, they don't have to receive much punishment, and the family atmosphere can be reasonably even. Kids vary in their temperaments and some are definitely easier to parent than others. Strong-willed children can be quite difficult, as may be the case with your daughter. If you were in my clinic office describing your daughter's behavior, I'd be asking you how you and her other parent respond to her temper tantrums. Usually, ignoring or sending a 5-year-old to her room for timeout to calm herself down is very effective in diminishing tantrums. Giving in to her tantrums, even occasionally, will have a dramatic effect on their increase. There are some special guidelines for timeout that I include below. Consistency with your spouse will also be important, as will the positive words your daughter hears about herself. Please be careful she doesn't overhear (referential speaking) adults talking about her moodiness and/or worrying aloud that something is seriously wrong. If she does, she'll soon begin to think she can't control herself.

RECIPE FOR SUCCESSFUL TIMEOUTS

—One adult should tell the child briefly that the consequence for naughty behavior will be to stay in his/her room for, depending on the child's age, five to 10 minutes of quiet with the door closed. The naughty behaviors should be specified. Don't select all of them, just the worst ones (for example, hitting or temper tantrums).

—If the child is likely to open the door when it's closed, lock the door from the outside (some parents loop the end of a rope around the knob of an adjacent room). For very powerful children, some kind of lock is initially required. Never lock the door when an adult is not present, and explain to your child that locking the door won't be necessary if he/she doesn't try to leave the room.

—If your child is likely to throw or break things during a tantrum, remove any fragile or precious objects from the room beforehand.

—Every time the child misbehaves in the stated way, he/she should be escorted to the room without the parent losing his/her temper and with only a sentence of explanation.

—If the child slams the door, loses his temper, bangs on walls, throws toys, screams, shouts or talks, there should be absolutely no response from anyone. Expect the first few times to be terrible. Start the timer only after the child has become quiet.

—After 10 minutes, open the door, permitting the child to leave. There should be no further explanation, apology, warning or discussion of love. Act as if nothing unusual has happened. Don't hug! Repeat as necessary.

—After one week, only a warning of the closed door should be necessary to prevent the undesirable behavior. Give only one warning, and always follow through.

If consistently giving your daughter timeouts doesn't diminish the outbursts, do see a psychologist for further evaluation.

For free newsletters about "Discipline for Little, Middle, and Big Kids, How to Parent So Children Will Learn," or "Raising Preschoolers" (Three Rivers Press, 1997), send a self-addressed, stamped envelope for each newsletter and a note with your topic request to the address below. Dr. Sylvia B. Rimm is the director of the Family Achievement Clinic in Cleveland, Ohio, a clinical professor of psychiatry and pediatrics at the Case Western Reserve University School of Medicine, and the author of many books on parenting. More information on raising kids is available at www.sylviarimm.com. Please send questions to: Sylvia B. Rimm on Raising Kids, P.O. Box 32, Watertown, WI 53094 or srimm@sylviarimm.com. To read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.