Q: I was an underachiever when I was younger and still struggle with this. I also was diagnosed with attention deficit disorder. My husband and I both have difficulty establishing routines and responsibilities for ourselves, which clearly makes it hard to set and reinforce responsibilities and routines for our children. How can I guide our disorganized and underachieving children so they can reverse their underachievement?

A: It is not unusual for very capable adults to visit my clinic with concerns about both their own underachievement and that of their children. Adults often go to coaches or counselors to help them develop strategies for their own careers. I am not sure from your description whether you are concerned about your present career or only your problems with organization. It is possible to get help with both. An excellent book for refocusing yourself toward an appropriate career is "The Joy of Strategy: A Business Plan for Life," written by Allison Rimm.

If you are only concerned with organizational strategies for you and your children, a counselor or tutor who works specifically with organizational skills can absolutely teach your children. If you are included in the sessions, you, too, can learn. People with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder inattentive type can learn to be organized. Although it is harder for them than for others, the motivation to learn to organize is enough to help both you and your children. You may have to make a game out of the organization process until you and your children learn it. A good supply of stickers or stars and teamwork can ease you along this route. It will be an absolutely helpful investment of your time, and you will discover how much more efficient you can become.

If your children are actually underachieving and not only disorganized, I would suggest you read my book "Why Bright Kids Get Poor Grades and What You Can Do About It." It will help you examine at least 10 important issues, including: 1) appropriately high, but not too high, expectations; 2) your children's work ethics; 3) competitive resilience; 4) possible disabilities; 5) appropriate curriculum match; 6) peer environments; 7) united, positive parenting; 8) parent support for school; 9) appropriate role models; and finally, 10) reasonable balance between achievement and social life. These are the top 10 issues that lead to achievement if they are handled correctly and underachievement if they are not. As you can see, you brought up some complex issues, but there are many ways you can help yourself and your children.

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Dr. Sylvia B. Rimm is the director of the Family Achievement Clinic in Cleveland, Ohio, a clinical professor of psychiatry and pediatrics at the Case Western Reserve University School of Medicine, and the author of many books on parenting. More information on raising kids is available at www.sylviarimm.com. Please send questions to: Sylvia B. Rimm on Raising Kids, P.O. Box 32, Watertown, WI 53094 or srimm@sylviarimm.com. To read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.