As promised, I'm passing along some practical strategies for conquering that old devil shyness. At its root — if we can get scientific — is an overabundance of I-ness. (Freely translated, you're focusing too closely and too often on — guess who? — you.) Once you realize that, you're ready for a remedy, which is to train your mind to listen not to yourself but to the person with you. Yep, a bit of self-discipline is needed to move past the shyness. Sounds simple, but it's not (I know) — because shyness can make a jumble of your mind, sending thoughts and impressions scattering while you're searching for common ground with this other person. While you're gathering thoughts, take a much closer look at this person and make a comment about something he or she is wearing or carrying — an iPhone, for example. That simple remark can open up many avenues and possibly lead to a spirited conversation about a common interest or a design flaw in the phone. See how simple this is once you shift your focus?

The next bit of artistry — and your life is your creation, remember — is to make it interesting. Not just as a point of conversation but to add excitement in your own life. (That opens a world of possibilities, no?) Yes, you must make a living, but is it the work you really like? If your response is wishy-washy, what are you doing about improving the activity that takes up so many hours? Researching different work possibilities can animate your life in unexpected ways — with talking to people about their work, seeing yourself in different venues, hearing about jobs opening up in emerging fields. Even if you ultimately decide to make no change in your work life right now, it's a sure thing you'll have plenty to talk about. And think about.

There's an old ploy that's been handed down through the ages because it fills those awkward spaces that can happen between people who find themselves facing each other but with little in common to talk about. When stymied, simply make a question of the other person's previous remark. Example: "Oh, you think you will go back to art school next semester?" It's easy to see why that works. Something as simple as those few words can get you both talking again because you show you're interested — and listening. Those two attributes have started more than a few romances.

I rest my case. Until next week, then.

Have a question for Susan? You can reach her directly at susan@single-file.com.