No, dear readers, this isn't a quiz. And it isn't a test. There is no score, promise, except perhaps your personal contentment. The point of these questions is to start you thinking about friendship and the kinds of friends you currently have. (Sounds elementary, I know, but I promise this will be an eye-opener.)

—Do I choose friends deliberately, or do I let them choose me?

—Do I learn a lot from my friends?

—Do I respect their opinions?

—Do I let them change my opinions? Do I try to change theirs?

—Do I consider myself richer for knowing my friends?

—Do I trust my friends? Am I always there for them?

—Do I praise my friends? Or do I often find fault with them?

—Do I deliberately try to make my friends' lives better? Do I make a contribution to their lives?

At this point, jot down what you've learned about yourself — from your own answers. Those discoveries may well come in handy later on when we dig into the true value of friends.

But how to make a friend? Every day, make a conscious effort to initiate at least one conversation with someone you know only slightly or not at all. You can do it almost anywhere. In the elevator at work: "Don't you work on the fifth floor, too?" In the doctor's office: "I'm done with this magazine. Want to browse it?" At a PTA meeting: "You must be Carly's mom. She told me you make the best chocolate fudge of any mom in our town. I'd love the recipe." Or at the health club: "Do you like the low-impact instructor?" You don't need to be witty, just open and interested. It's a strategy you may have used to meet romantic prospects back in your "unenlightened" days. But now it's coming in handy to meet all kinds of people — and with a very different motivation! By taking the first step, you're building inner strength and discovering a friendly world, far friendlier than you imagined, where many people would secretly love to do what you're doing but are too timid to take that first step. Feels pretty good, exercising your personal power to make your world a friendlier place.

Please write and tell me all about your friendship experiences!

Have a question for Susan? You can reach her directly at susan@single-file.com.

Photo credit: Mike Goren