Sexual union realizes its potential as spiritual communion when it joins soulmates. Then — and only then — can it morph from animal rutting into lovemaking and deliver on its promise. (Anyone who has been a casual sex casualty will attest to that.) But it takes a bit of doing to make sense of the erotic overchoice embedded in single life (no pun intended) and to find your way through situations that come with all degrees of risk. Finding peace of mind in that sea of choice, perhaps the biggest challenge of being single, takes the confidence that comes from having a personal sense of rightness, certainty of your sexual boundaries. That sense will come from this Bill of Rights, growing into a personal code of ethics that eliminates for all time those pained explanations born of inner confusion.

—I will adopt a consistent 'live and let live' view toward others' sexual choices. I will be slow to judge or condemn.

—I will shape a code of conduct gleaned from my personal needs and inner sense of rightness. When some act or person feels wrong, it is.

—I will reject all coercion in sexual matters and will avoid those who attempt any degree of sexual coercion.

—I reserve the right to remain virgin or chaste. I am sure that neither state is harmful, and that periods of celibacy can be highly productive and fulfilling.

—I refuse to be enslaved by stale and corrosive stereotypes that see the male as only (and always) the aggressor and the female as only (and always) the passive receiver.

—If acceptable to my personal morality, I will engage in self-pleasuring. Within my sense of rightness, I am certain that masturbation is a natural and legitimate source of sexual satisfaction that can help me learn my sexual tastes, prepare me for coupled sex and deter me from loveless sex.

—I pledge to myself (and those who care about me) to make prudent sexual decisions and avoid those that come with any degree of risk. I am aware that a sex partner comes with sexual history, and that knowing that history is the only way to safe sex.

—I will use self-control and discretion in my sexual decisions. Even though sex is important, I am not willing to die for it.

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