DEAR SUSAN: As a heterosexual man, I found that very little of your columns titled "Feelings Inventory" rang true for me. But I admit I do have trouble meeting decent, stable women. At age 56, I'm a bit worried for my romantic future.

Please let the good woman out there know I'm trying to find her, but if she's always with a big group, how do I ever get to talk to her? And if she's desperate and clingy and tries to get me to take her home that night, ick! On the other hand, she shouldn't let anything stop her from sharing her phone number so we can talk later.

Ladies, if you want a man for his money, you'll get someone who uses you until he no longer wants to pay for it; you ain't worth his time. Bye-bye. And if you're not happy with who you are, a decent man wouldn't be happy enough with you to make you his wife — but there are many men who would be happy to use your insecurity to get what they want.

The point? There are some of us out here who stink at starting conversation, don't have a smooth pickup line and wonder who could give us lessons in flirting. But if you say a simple hello, all hello could break loose! Please — at least smile at me?! Give me a clue, 'cause most of us guys are clueless. Deal?

Thing is, lots of us who grew up in the 1960s, '70s or '80s are grayer and more wrinkled, seemingly undesirable. But most of us have grown and are worldlier, more willing to discuss differences, more willing to accept in our lives those with slight variances to our core values.

So, here I am looking for such a lady. I hope that if she's fantastic within herself and amazing for me, preconceived notions don't get in the way if we happen to meet at some point. Thanks for listening. — Glenn

Dear Glenn: Your honesty drew me to your aura before the end of the first sentence. It's so clear you've done a lot of living — been riding on the high-hopes roller coaster of life and love and are tottering on the brink of world-weary. But you're not about to fall; your strength comes shining through. Without a hurt, the heart is hollow. Ready yourself for the meeting game by looking elsewhere. That seeming contradiction works; believe me. Put yourself into a strong interest of yours, a passion that truly engages your mind. Looking elsewhere can distract you from the meeting game while making you stronger and more attractive. It's not your time for love, and it can't be hurried. But engage yourself in a passion to prepare for it.

DEAR READERS: We've uncovered a treasure-trove of "Single File" paperbacks — in perfect condition, ready to read. Send $15 and your address to: Susan Deitz, C/O Creators Syndicate, 737 Third St., Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. I'll send you a signed copy.

Have a question for Susan? You can reach her directly at susan@single-file.com.

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