"Police Search for Man in Wal-Mart Hidden Camera Case"

When Linda Carlson of Middletown, Conn., sent me this newspaper headline, she wrote, "I read several times before I realized that it wasn't about a very large camera case or a very tiny man."

When newspaper editors compress a detailed and sometimes complicated news story down into a few words, the results can be surprising, even hilarious. Consider some of these headlines sent to me by readers:

—Hostages Tell About Ordeal on Winfrey Program (Spotted by Mark Friden, Cranberry Lake, N.Y.) It must have been a long interview.

—Woman Found Guilty of Killing Husband for Second Time (Eric Funston, Spokane, Wash.) Till deaths do they part.

—Bears Must Prove Metal Vs. Packers (Lee Poissant, Morristown, N.Y., and Art Frackenpohl, Potsdam, N.Y.) Wait till they face the Steelers.

—Truck Hit Tresses, Sending Part of Structure Into River (Tom Weston, Storrs, Conn.) A hair-raising experience!

—Report: More Than a Quarter of Union County Residents Considered Living in Poverty (Delores Davis, Trenton, N.J.) Well, it does cut down on clutter.

—U.S. Hockey Team Makes Short Work of Fins (Mark Lander, Old Lyme, Conn.) Did they play the Sharks?

—Canadian Rescue Plane Leaves Tripoli Empty (Jamie Hook, Princeton, N.J.) Completely depopulated?

—Selectmen's Stand on Sludge Softening (Jane Bensche, Manchester, Conn.) Well, that's appropriate, I guess.

—Army To Give Exception, Allowing Sikh's Turbine (Elsa Bullock, Bristol, Conn.) Thus making a powerful statement.

—Turkey Magnet Matthews Dies (Bonnie Lohr, Hightstown, N.J.) Birds just seemed to flock to him.

—Student Facing Deportation To Finish Degree (Norm Stevens, Storrs, Conn.) You can graduate, but you'll have to do it somewhere else.

—Man Shoots Pictures of Wolf Chasing Him on Motorcycle in Canada (Bill Ziegler via email) Biker, what big tailpipes you have!

—Dogs Rain Supreme in Battle Over Patriotism (Emma Anderson, Yardley, Pa.) Did this downpour include cats?

—"Cub Appeal the First Step To Get Prospective Buyers." (Jan Birnie, Enfield, Conn.) The housing market must be bearish.

—Spitzer Takes on Roll as Professor at City College (Chris Ryan, New York City) Is he teaching culinary arts?

—Probe Finds No Rouge Troopers Unit (Mark Friden, Cranberry Lake, N.Y.) But the troopers did blush.

Rob Kyff, a teacher and writer in West Hartford, Conn., invites your language sightings. Send your reports of misuse and abuse, as well as examples of good writing, via e-mail to Wordguy@aol.com or by regular mail to Rob Kyff, Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254.

Photo credit: John Ragai