Dear John: I have just started dating a guy who recently left a four-year relationship. Many friends have told me that he is on the rebound. He reassures me he is not and that he cares for me deeply. I went through a similar situation when my ex-husband left me for another woman. I presumed he was on the rebound, but they have been together for two years now, which makes me optimistic about my own situation. How do I know if this will end badly? Or by chance, can we actually make this work? — Rebounds Are Out of Bounds, in Brooklyn, N.Y.

Dear Out of Bounds: The only way we get hurt is by consciously ignoring signs of problems like a tendency to rebound. There are times in most of our lives when we so desperately want a relationship to succeed that we choose not to recognize problems in how we function as a couple. But assuming this is not the case in your relationship, you are best advised to proceed, as we all must in the early weeks and months of any new friendship, with cautious optimism. If it works for both of you, then end your worries and enjoy your happiness.

Dear John: In spite of the fact that "Jason" and I have been married for seven years, my family continues their attempts to break us up. This has been going on since the early months of our marriage. They finally persuaded me to leave him, but now, I want us to get back together. At the same time, I don't know if he wants me back. He knows where to contact me but has made no attempt to do so. How can I bring us back together and keep this from happening again? — Time to Reconnect, in Harrisburg, Pa.

Dear Time: Frequently, spouses will discuss marital issues with their families, sharing problems, arguments and difficulties. Later, however, they fail to explain when, how and why they kissed and made up. The family, therefore, is left with the last impression that the problems are continuing unresolved, and that their son or daughter is trapped in an unhappy marriage. If you want your family to understand the full story of your relationship, I'm sure they would be ready to listen.

John Gray is the author of "Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus." If you have a question, write to John in care of this newspaper or by email by going to www.marsvenus.com. All questions are kept anonymous and will be paraphrased. To find out more about John Gray and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.