Dear John: "Hank" and I are in the process of getting a divorce. It will be final in a little over a month. We have a 7-year-old daughter, who is now the only source of happiness in my life. This separation and divorce have been so difficult for me. Hank was the one who wanted to end our marriage, and to make matters worse, he recently got involved with another woman, who my daughter tells me about. I feel so much anger and bitterness over his taking up with another woman. — Hoping to Move On, in Fort Worth, Texas

Dear Hoping: Statistically, separated men are far more likely than women to quickly move into another relationship. Martians often believe the pain they experience in divorce can be resolved by beginning another relationship.

Most likely, this is the real reason for his moving on. Though unfortunately, these "rebounds" often do not work because the underlying issues that broke up the old relationship have yet to be resolved. Women frequently take longer to get involved again because divorce raises basic issues of trust.

Don't compare his situation to yours. Explore your feelings and begin the process of working through them. Starting over is not easy; a variety of books and community outreach programs can help you through this process. Love and happiness will find you again. But you first must allow yourself the time and space to heal.

Dear John: For over 30 years, I have been in love with a short, bald and overweight guy. Although we've been lovers on and off, he continues to commit himself to others as opposed to me. What gives? — Looking for Better Choices, in Sacramento, Calif.

Dear Looking: A person's appearance does not give him or her the upper hand in a relationship. That comes from the respect, love and commitment one gives their loved ones, and from the respect, love and commitment received. For whatever reason, this man does not want to accept your love, nor is he willing to give it. Do yourself a favor: Cut your losses before you go into your 31st year of frustration. You deserve better. Go out and find it.

John Gray is the author of "Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus." If you have a question, write to John in care of this newspaper or by email by going to www.marsvenus.com. All questions are kept anonymous and will be paraphrased. To find out more about John Gray and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.