Dear John: I'm a 57-year-old widow. I've met someone who is 10 years older than me. I enjoy "Stephen's" company, and we have a lot in common. He now wants me to move in with him, but I have a house that is completely paid for, and I enjoy my independence, so I am hesitant to do this. I like staying at his place, but like to come back home as well. Am I asking too much to have a relationship this way? I don't want to get married again. — Uncertainly His, in Louisville, Ky.

Dear His: No, you are not asking for too much! You deserve to keep the security and stability you have already experienced, and you deserve to share your life with Stephen, who brings you happiness. Stick to your best instincts. You are doing the right thing, right now for you.

Dear John: I'm a 34 year-old woman who has been feeling both depressed and anxious. The past year of my life has been extremely stressful: My boyfriend walked out on me after seven years, I lost two of my beloved pets, and my mother is going through a nasty divorce. I have just finished reading your book, "How to Get What You Want, and Want What You Have" in which you describe 12 "emotional blocks." I can see that I have 11 of the 12, which in itself is discouraging for me. I know it has taken me many years to become this blocked, and it is going to take me a long time to overcome them. Is it advisable for me to work on more than one block at a time, or should I concentrate my efforts on one block until I get through it? — Needing to Start Again, in Bedford, Mass.

Dear Start Again: You've identified your two strongest blocks as depression and anxiety. Depression is often caused by feelings of isolation and abandonment, and anxiety reduces our ability to take risks.

You must first heal these hurts in order to break through the wall of negative emotions that surrounds you. You can do this by first recognizing these unjustified fears for what they are and remembering other instances when these fears played a role in your life. Then, imagine getting what you now need — the support of those you love — and how it makes you feel when you know you have loved ones at your side.

Do this process every day and when you feel depressed or anxious. By first chipping away and releasing these two blocks, like dominoes, the others will begin to fall as well.

John Gray is the author of "Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus." If you have a question, write to John in care of this newspaper or by email by going to www.marsvenus.com. All questions are kept anonymous and will be paraphrased. To find out more about John Gray and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.