Dear John: At age 25, I have yet to be in a relationship that has lasted more than six weeks. Most of the time, I don't get past a first or second date; and when I do, what started out as a good possibility for a relationship boils down to nothing more than "just friends." When I try to be aggressive, I am told I'm a tease; when I play it cool, I'm told I am just like their kid sister or best guy friend.

I always let who I am shine through, but there always seems to be something lost in translation. And I always seem to be the girl they dated right before they find "the one." How does a single girl get past the game playing to find the "happily ever after" that everyone around me seems to be finding these days? I don't expect any miracles, but if you could point me in the right direction, I'd be grateful. — Searching for Mr. Right, in Tulsa, Okla.

Dear Searching: The first thing you have to do is to get out of the mind-set that you are in a race to find a soul mate. Take yourself off the clock. When it happens, you'll know it.

Next, recognize that your true goal — particularly in your mid-20s — should be your own personal fulfillment. To accomplish this goal, you should be steering your life in a direction that suits your needs, not that of those you feel you may be attracted to. You can do this by being yourself — and don't ever feel you must apologize if who you are doesn't fit into your date's scheme of who you should be.

Consider activities that play to your strengths. For example, if you like hiking or sports, join organizations that allow you to enjoy these activities. If you love to travel, join a singles travel group. If your work is a passion, get active in professional organizations. By doing these things, you will find others whose interests align with your own. If you give yourself time and exert the effort in things that make you happy, you'll find Mr. Right — more than likely, when you least expect it.

Dear John: My husband's good moods and bad moods have ruled our 24 years of marriage. What can I do to change myself, or change this situation? — Over It, in Austin, Texas

Dear Over It: First, don't feel guilty. You are not the cause of your partner's moods. It is not your place to "fix" anything for him. He is the only one who can accomplish this.

Second, leave the vicinity if you feel your own mood will be affected. Go out with friends, go to a movie or work in your garden. In other words, do whatever it takes to keep your spirits high and free of his up-and-down mood swings.

Third, when your spouse's mood improves, ask him to consider discussing his depression with his physician. Millions of us suffer from bouts of depression. Many have gotten help and improved their quality of life. It's time to reach out!

John Gray is the author of "Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus." If you have a question, write to John in care of this newspaper or by email by going to www.marsvenus.com. All questions are kept anonymous and will be paraphrased. To find out more about John Gray and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.