Dear John: I'm a 17-year-old girl with an 18-year-old boyfriend. Alan's friends are losers. By this, I mean they all drink excessively and do drugs. I want better for us than that.

Our most recent argument was over whether Alan and I should go with them to get drugs. I threatened to leave him if he did this. He called me a name that made me so mad that I spit in his face. He then put his arm around my neck and choked me so hard I almost blacked out.

To make long story short, I went to the police and reported it. Now I'm not supposed to talk to him, but I do. Should I stay and work this out, or will the violence just get worse? — Any Hope? in Philadelphia

Dear Any Hope: OK, let's put things in perspective: The guy you love hangs with people you consider losers, he shows you little or no respect, takes illegal drugs, calls you names and tried to strangle you. Hello? What makes you think you deserve this?

I think you know that you deserve better. If he hangs with losers, it's because he doesn't have the self-esteem to move beyond them. If you hang with him, this says a lot about you as well.

Please, do yourself a favor. Walk away from this situation. If he indeed wants a loving, caring relationship with you, he will prove it — by treating you with the respect you deserve, and by associating with people both of you can respect, and those that can and will respect him. The best relationships succeed when faced by real tests of endurance. This is one of those times. If he rises to the occasion, that's great. If not, know that you can, without him.

Dear John: Is it healthy for a husband to masturbate when he and his wife are not speaking to one another? — Curious, in Syracuse, N.Y.

Dear Curious: Masturbation, if not excessive, is healthy. If the issue were whether a man should partake in self-gratification without the approval of his wife, or only when his wife is not speaking to him, then I would imagine many men would not have an opportunity to masturbate. My suggestion: When taking matters into one's own hands, one should do so in private.

John Gray is the author of "Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus." If you have a question, write to John in care of this newspaper or by email by going to www.marsvenus.com. All questions are kept anonymous and will be paraphrased. To find out more about John Gray and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.