Virtual Gifts for Naughty (and a few Good) Celebrity Boys and Girls

By Stacy Jenel Smith

December 22, 2015 4 min read

With 2015 going down as a celebrity year that's light on sugar, heavy on spice, full of naughty with only so much nice, certain stars better watch out. Santa's Tinseltown Bad List is pretty long. On the other hand, there are some stars so good, extra sugarplums are in order. With that in mind, it's time to pass out some virtual gifts that certain famous kiddies can really use!

Bindi Irwin: Some polish to keep her dancing shoes shiny, and a full dance card of assignments that make the most of her talents.

Kaitlin Jenner: A cross-stitched sampler that says, "Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. ~ Dr. Seuss"

Nicki Minaj, who can't seem to go more than a couple of weeks without displaying schoolyard level behavior, taunting and feuding with other celebrities: A copy of "Play Nicely: The Healthy Discipline Program"

"The Danish Girl's" Eddie Redmayne: Oscar No. 2

Bill Cosby, the disgraced star who has filed defamation suits against seven of the more than 50 women who've accused him of sexual misconduct: a muzzle.

Mama Jean Shannon, Honey Boo Boo's mother, whose latest tour de farce is exploiting her troubled marriage on We's "Marriage Boot Camp": vanishing cream that would really make her disappear.

J.J. Abrams, who pulled off the impossible by succeeding with "Star Wars: The Force Awakens," in spite of the extreme hype, merchandising and expectations: a chance to create the scenario for next year's presidential election, because it needs a galaxy-sized rewrite. We can dream, can't we?

UFC Heavyweight Champion Fabricio Werdum: a cage fight with Donald Trump

Iggy Azalea, who admitted to getting a nose job this year, and photoshopped her face into strangeness in a recent Instagram posting: before and after photos of the late Joan Rivers and Michael Jackson, and a restraining order to keep her 50 feet away from any plastic surgeon before it's too late. She's pretty the way she is!

Adele: A crystal display case, to show off the many awards her "25" album is sure to bring her (even though it was released too late for this year's Grammy consideration).

"The Voice's" Blake Shelton and Gwen Stefani, who each got divorced last summer and then went public as a couple: lots of luck.

Miranda Lambert, who told Cosmopolitan that some of her steps in getting over her broken marriage to Blake Shelton might include "nights on my porch crying, drinking whiskey, and going, 'Man, this sucks right now'": a copy of Maureen Dowd's 'Are Men Necessary?' — and a special edition Gwen doll complete with pins. It's kind of mean, yeah, but Santa wants Miranda to have some extra fun this year.

Justin Bieber, whose recent video serenading his ex Selena Gomez sparked rumors of yet another reconciliation between the two: a copy of Angela Bofill's classic tune, "This Time I'll Be Sweeter."

Nick Jonas, whose antics this year have ranged from getting chained up by drag queens to perform his "Chains" song at a London gay club to romancing 13-years-older Kate Hudson: a copy of Chef Gordon Ramsay's "Playing with Fire."

The many celebrities who devote time and energy to charity: Happy Holidays, prosperity and joy.

And the same to all of you readers.

Photo credit: Steven Depolo

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