You make the rules. We'll find new ways around them.
That could be the Mercedes AMG's motto, and maybe it is ... unofficially. The rhinoceros thing you see before you is somehow fully compliant with every government regulation, and yet ... well ... just look at it.
AMG is Mercedes' in-house hot rod shop, and the AMG GLE 63 S, introduced last year as an all-new Mercedes-Benz model, is a very hot-rodded version of the otherwise mild-mannered GLE SUV. It has the same 9.1 inches of ground clearance and all-wheel drive. But it also has a hand-built 5.5-liter 557 horsepower V-8 engine, and it does zero to 60 mph in about 3.8 seconds.
Of course, this kind of fun costs you. The base price for the AMG GLE 63 S is $110,650.
What's Good
This vehicle can outrun almost anything — or run over almost anything.
Despite the swoopy roofline, back seats are roomy, and there's ample cargo space behind them.
It has a 7,200-pound max tow rating.
What's Not So Good
High-performance "summer" tires undermine its off-road (and snow day) capabilities.
The USB hook-ups are buried in the center console and very hard to access.
Under the Hood
Though it weighs twice as much as the new Mustang GT, the AMG GLE 63 S is just as quick — a measure of what 557 horsepower can do.
The bi-turbo V-8 is signed by the craftsman who put it together and paired it with a seven-speed AMG-programmed Speedshift automatic and Mercedes' 4Matic AWD system.
The Environmental Protection Agency says you can go 14 miles in the city driving on a single gallon of fuel, and 18 mpg on the highway! This is actually pretty good given the 5,200 pounds of curb weight and the rolling resistance of 22-inch wheels shod with 285/40 ContiSport tires up front and 325/35 tires in the back.
On the Road
Push the ignition button and a gnarly pre-catalytic converter snarl erupts out of the quad-tip AMG exhaust. It contrasts curiously with the delicate almost-Prius-like control toggle you use to put the transmission in gear.
But there is nothing delicate about what happens next.
The wormhole dilates, and the world around you refracts. Each gear change is accompanied by a sonic boom as it baffles in the AMG exhaust open and then slams shut again, wastegate-like, to let the backpressure build for the next boom.
Somehow, the AMG people have also made this huge heavy high-riding rhinoceros thing capable of doing lateral things — in the curves — that would probably result in any other similarly jacked-up SUV getting daylight underneath its tires ... just before it tips over.
The Benz can nearly pull a solid g on the skidpad. It is big fun to hang on the bumper of a Mustang as it tries to leave you behind, and then roar past him coming out of that last curve — the V-8's song peeling his paint off — before you reach the top of the mountain.
He will likely need years of therapy.
At the Curb
The roofline is about 3 inches lower than the regular GLE SUV's, so watch your head getting in. But, surprisingly, the rhino has almost as much headroom once you are in as in the not-swoop-roofed GLE SUV: 38.9 inches for the driver and front seat passenger, and 38.5 inches for the people in the second row.
It also has 3 inches more legroom in the second row than its main rival, the BMW X6 M.
Cargo capacity is 60.7 cubic feet with the second row folded (23 cubic feet with the second row in place), which is about the same as an E-Class wagon — and more than a Lexus RX350.
The rear liftgate opens wide, almost like the nosecone of one of those Russian heavy-lift cargo planes. You could haul a refrigerator home, probably.
The Rest
The most practical thing about the AMG'd GLE is its civility. Unless you're in Sport+ mode (which turns the thing into a straight-piped catalyst-free spark-spewing Teutonic berserker), your mom could drive it. No, wait. That's not quite the right way to put it — your mom would not be afraid to drive it.
In Comfort mode, it could be a jacked-up Camry.
The two least practical things about the GLE 63 S are the German-designed staggered-sized cupholders (one's big; the other's small) mounted in the center console, which are too shallow on top, so it's very easy to spill. But they are heated — and cooled.
And the two USB plug-ins located inside the center-console storage bin are all but impossible to reach.
The bottom line: If you like a little Mr. Hyde to go with your Dr. Jekyll, this one will appeal to you.
To find out more about Eric and read his past columns, please visit the Creators Syndicate webpage at www.creators.com. His new book, Don't Get Taken for a Ride! will be available soon.
View Comments