Q: Holidays and birthdays are not my favorites because I lost my wife nearly three years ago. My son and daughter-in-law live out of state and can only visit during the summer months. I am contented and keep myself busy through most of the year; however, every December, I find myself remembering how much I loved festivities and being with my family. I have lost a lot of friends and find it difficult to make new ones.

What are some ways to be more optimistic and change my routine this year?

A: Become involved and jump in to help others. By doing so, you will be rewarded and feel better. Being overly concerned with your own problems can become overwhelming. There are so many ways to be of service as a volunteer and make a difference. You'll quickly learn how great the need is. An increasing number of aging seniors with major health and other issues need one-on-one help, which due to a lack of funds, they can't afford.

One of the best places to find how needed you are is your local senior center, where you can go to help as a volunteer. You will be surprised how grateful people will be for your spending time with them. Many elderly individuals feel isolated and lonely because they can no longer drive, and would sincerely enjoy visiting with someone.

December is the perfect month to volunteer because it is when help is needed the most. Charities, soup kitchens, hospitals, hospices, animal shelters, schools, libraries and other caring institutions are good places to consider donating your time. Perhaps you could even help out your neighbors by walking their dogs.

Volunteering often creates an opportunity to make new friends and find someone with whom you have much in common.

Q: After having been a sales manager in a major department store for 27 years and widowed, I was looking forward to a new and exciting lifestyle as a retiree.

Within six months, I find myself bored to death, doing nothing. While working, I felt as though I was accomplishing something. I liked my fellow employees and took pride in my work.

Now, I seem to have lost my focus. How can I get my act back in gear?

A: Begin by realizing that you now have the opportunity to switch gears and look forward to a new lifestyle. Feel fortunate you have the ability to do so. Not everyone gets that chance.

Could it be that you're being a little anxious and fearful about your future?

Losing your business contacts, longtime work friendships and a reason to get out of bed can be challenging. However, relaxing, taking time to realize you now have other options and opportunities to consider, learning how to better balance your new lifestyle, perseverance and maintaining control of your personal life will prove you have made the right decision!

Doug Mayberry makes the most of life in a Southern California Retirement community. Contact him at deardoug@msn.com. To find out more about Doug Mayberry and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.