Q: My dad has always been in charge of our family finances and managed them well.

Dad lives nearly 50 miles away, and we are unable to see him often. He has been living on his Social Security. My brother and I thought he was doing all right financially.

However, last week, a cousin called and said an acquaintance of his who is a bank officer had called and told him Dad has been bouncing checks and hasn't been cooperating in finding a solution to his problem.

My brother and I can help out a little, but we are raising our families and surviving on part-time work. We believe he owns the family home debt-free.

What can we do?

A: Call his banker to see what needs to be done financially. Let's hope both of you are also authorized on his checking account and able to take action. Would your cousin be willing to step in and monitor his bank account?

If you and your brother do not have maintenance funds available for him, you may need to consider taking out a loan for him. Medical expenses may be an important factor in his financial needs.

Do your best to solve his finances without making him feel he is losing his independence. He may become angry. However, be as patient as he was in raising you. Most fathers do their best for their families. — Doug

FRIENDSHIP WOES

Q: It's hard to find friendships that last a lifetime, but I've been lucky to have two such people in my life. We met in grade school and have been able to keep in contact, even so many years later, despite the diverging paths we've taken.

Sadly, I found out in the past week that my two friends are no longer speaking, nor have they been for several months. I'd like to keep our bond intact. What do you recommend?

A: The relationship dynamics of three people are always complicated, and many of us find it hard to balance such friendships. This is true even in the best of circumstances. If you intervene in the bond of the other two, you'll risk being alienated yourself, so be careful.

As they've been friends for so long, their conflict may indicate a serious problem that has reached a breaking point. Many of us become more stubborn as we age, so it could also be a small conflict that has escalated. Luckily, they have a long history to fall back on, so they've had experience at reconciling.

I recommend that you not push too hard but instead wait for them to change their mentalities. If and when they decide to try to reconcile, you're in an excellent spot to mediate, but you can't force them to this stage. Do your best to help them simmer down, but tread lightly. — Emma, Doug's granddaughter

Doug Mayberry makes the most of life in a Southern California retirement community. Contact him at deardoug@msn.com. Emma, Doug's granddaughter, helps write this column. To find out more about Doug Mayberry and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.