D'oh! No Homer Simpson in Texas prisons

The Texas Department of Corrections apparently takes its prisoners' literature choices very seriously. More than 10,000 books are banned from the state's prisons, The Dallas Morning News reports. Among the banned books are subversive titles such as "Where's Waldo? Santa Spectacular," "A Christmas Manger" and "Homer Simpson's Little Book of Laziness."

Not surprisingly, "Cool Hand Luke," about a habitual prison escapee, is not allowed. A little more curious is the banning of Alice Walker's Pulitzer Prize-winning novel, "The Color Purple," and "Monty Python's Big Red Book."

A total of 248,281 books have been approved for prisoners' reading pleasure, including Adolf Hitler's "Mein Kampf" and two books by former Ku Klux Klan Grand Wizard David Duke. But prisoners apparently must be protected from the evils of "A Daily Dose of Torah Rabbinic Festivals."

It's OK for inmates to read "Satan's Sorcery Volume 1," but "Earth Magic: A Book of Shadows for Positive Witches" is a definite no-no. If you want to make sense of this list, talk to the warden.

'Country over party'

It's not surprising that Republican Sen. Jeff Flake of Arizona has come out against Republican Senate candidate Roy Moore in Alabama. Flake, who will not seek re-election next year, appears to enjoy speaking his mind now that's he's unencumbered by the terror of voter reprisal. Flake clearly thinks Moore, who faces allegations of sexual harassment and child molestation, has no business being in the Senate.

What's noteworthy is Flake's inscription at the bottom of his $100 check donating to Moore's Democratic opponent, Doug Jones: "Country over Party." In other words, stand for what's right, not what's most politically expedient. Too bad other Republicans in Washington can't seem to grasp that concept.

Intelligence, Blackwater-style

Erik Prince, founder of the infamous and now-defunct private-contracting army Blackwater, apparently wasn't deterred when his soldiers panicked and fired on civilians in Baghdad's Nisour Square in 2007, killing 17 and injuring 20. Prince now reportedly proposes to create a private spy agency that would do for the cause of intelligence gathering what his guns-for-hire business did for U.S. military stabilization efforts in Iraq.

Trump administration officials made clear to CNN that the idea is going nowhere fast.

But don't write Prince off. He's a former Navy SEAL officer who knows his way around GOP decision-making circles in Washington. He's also the brother of Education Secretary Betsy DeVos, who managed to land a job running the nation's public education system without even a day's experience in public education. With these two in charge, what could possibly go wrong?

Greatest thing since ...

We didn't have to look far for the "weirdest bill" in our annual review of the Missouri House's list of prefiled legislation. House Bill 1349, introduced for consideration when the Legislature convenes in January, would designate July 7 as "Sliced Bread Day" in Missouri.

The sponsor, Republican Rusty Black, hails from the northwest Missouri town of Chillicothe, which claims to have sold the first commercially available loaf of presliced bread, in 1928.

According to a plaque at the corner of First and Elm streets, baker Frank Bench ordered one of inventor Otto Rohwedder's bread-slicing machines and within two weeks saw sales increase 200 percent. Other cities claim the distinction, but Rohwedder's second machine is on display at the Smithsonian. The first one fell apart from overuse in Chillicothe.

Homophobia unleashed

A committee hearing of the Pennsylvania House of Representatives was droning on Tuesday night when Rep. Matt Bradford, a Democrat, reached over and tapped the forearm of Republican Daryl Metcalfe, who was getting a little worked up over a land-use bill.

Metcalfe exploded, "Look, I'm a heterosexual. I have a wife, I love my wife, I don't like men - as you might. But stop touching me all the time. Keep your hands to yourself. If you want to touch somebody, you have people on your side of the aisle who might like it. I don't."

Bradford and his (female) wife have four children, so he was stunned. He said he'd just wanted to interrupt Metcalfe for a moment. The rest of room just giggled. Metcalfe is known for his histrionic anti-gay positions, but this "you're a Democrat so you must be gay" outburst was a bit over the top.

He didn't even say "not that there's anything wrong with that."

Oh, Canada. You weasels

First, Canada's Bombardier aircraft company, trying to crack the U.S. market, sold 75 of its C series commuter jets to Delta Airlines in spring 2016 at the deep discount price of $19.6 million each. Then Boeing Co. said that was below production cost and objected, arguing the Canadian government was subsidizing the sale. Bombardier said Boeing doesn't sell any jets that size and the company was just whining.

Then President Donald Trump got involved, wrapping in his doubts about the North American Free Trade Agreement. So the Commerce Department slapped what amounts to a 300 percent tariff on the Canadian jets. Then Delta said it would take delivery of the Canadian jets but wasn't about to pay the tariff. Now what we've got is an incipient trade war with our neighbors to the north and the people paying the price work in north St. Louis County.

Canada retaliated to the high U.S. tariffs this week by canceling an order for 18 F/A-18 Super Hornets, a significant blow to Boeing-St. Louis, which assembles the aircraft. Trump could fix this with some reasonable negotiation, but that's not where smart money is.

REPRINTED FROM THE ST LOUIS POST DISPATCH