Dear Ann Landers: Why don't YOU MYOB? A while back, you wrote a column on "Reconciliation Day" in which you urged your readers to "forgive and forget — let bygones be bygones."

At 10:30 on the night that column appeared, we received a telephone call from a relative we had not heard from in 20 years. It just about scared the wits out of us. Our friends know we turn in early and never call us after 9 p.m. This relative sounded as if he were either drunk or on drugs. He went on to say he had just read your column on reconciliation and was calling everyone he had ever hurt during his lifetime because he didn't have much longer to live.

Over the last several years, we have spent a lot of money (and time) to get this creep out of our lives. In one fell swoop, thanks to you, he was back again. That call reopened painful wounds and brought back memories of the worst time in our lives.

You should be smart enough to know that when a person shuts someone out of his or her life, there is a pretty good reason. These things don't happen out of the blue. I hope you will not give such lousy advice again. I'll sign off by saying, "Thanks but no thanks." — Longtime Reader in Rockford, Ill.

Dear Rock: My advice does not fall in the "one-size-fits-all" category. Who was it who said, "One man's meat is another man's poison"? I'm sorry I made trouble for you. Please keep reading for another letter on this subject.

Dear Ann Landers: My husband and I read your column on Reconciliation Day in the Boston Globe and decided to call my brother and his wife, who live in Detroit. We had not spoken to them for nearly nine years. The ruptured relationship had to do with money, of course.

When I heard my brother's voice, there was such a lump in my throat, I could hardly speak. Finally, I said, "This is 'The Queen of the May.'" That is what he used to call me when we were kids and he felt I was getting special privileges. (I was the only girl in a family of four boys.) Of course, he was right, but I was stubborn and would never admit it.

At first, there was silence, and I thought, "My Lord, he hung up on me," but no such thing. He finally said, "Do you read Ann Landers' column? We get it here in the Detroit Free Press." I said, "Yes, I do. I've been reading her for years." He then said, "When I saw her column today on reconciliation, it really got to me. I almost picked up the phone and called you, but you know how stubborn I am. Gee, I'm glad to hear your voice."

Ann, we talked for at least 40 minutes and made plans to get together over Labor Day weekend. You really do change people's lives. Thank you, thank you, thank you. — Grateful in Beantown

Dear Grateful: Your letter was a terrific upper. I appreciate your letting me know that I helped bring you and your brother together. Please let me know how the reunion turns out. I'm betting it's going to be beautiful.

That first kiss, that first embrace ... Remember all those things that brought you and your loved one together? "How We Met," a collection of sentimental love stories, will make a terrific gift for that special someone. For a copy, please send a self-addressed, long, business-size envelope and a check or money order for $5.50 (this includes postage and handling) to: How We Met, c/o Ann Landers, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. (In Canada, $6.50). To find out more about Ann Landers and read her past columns, visit the Creators Syndicate web page at www.creators.com.

ANN LANDERS