Q: Many people apply the word narcissist to people who are actually just self-centered, but I work for a real narcissist in his dentist practice. Many people are self-centered because they always put themselves first, but they are not out to harm others. The doctor I work for is led by his arrogance. He treats all his patients like idiots and doesn't explain any part of their procedures to them because he says he is the expert and they are the public and too stupid to know what they need. He criticizes his patients when they ask questions or explain what they think the problem might be. I have heard him sarcastically answer patients with, "Are you a dentist?" Or, "And how long have you practiced dentistry?" No intelligent person would accept such verbal abuse, so they know better than to return to him. Patients who do return have no dignity or self-esteem, so this proves to him that all patients are stupid. He also charges for little things he didn't do, but people must not look closely at the bills or question the individual charges.
As an assistant in the room with patients, I see the smart ones roll their eyes at him, and I have seen people leave the office in disgust. You can imagine how he treats his staff if this is how he treats patients. Unfortunately, patients who never return don't file complaints against him on Yelp, which would help protect unsuspecting people from becoming his victims. I would like to privately ask them to review him on Yelp, but if he overheard me, he would do more than just fire me; his vindictive side would come out.
I need a job, so I can't just quit, but I'm ashamed to work for him. I don't want people to think I approve of his behavior, and I'm sure other dentists have heard about him from all the patients who don't return. How do I get another job if I am not supposed to say anything bad about the boss?
A: It's irrelevant to call him a narcissist since that is not going to help your situation. What is relevant is that you sense this employment experience will tarnish your chances of getting another job in that field, and that concern could show when you interview. Prepare a detailed resume that shows your patient care and customer service attitude, as well as your technical skills. Then choose all the dental practices you'd like to apply to without waiting for published job advertisements. You can use Yelp as your guide to see which practices appeal to you.
In your cover letter sent directly to the head of the practice, tell of your research on Yelp that helped you know which practice you'd most like to work for. Honest flattery never hurts, and the person in charge of hiring should be impressed that you are not simply responding to an ad like typical applicants.
The rule of never badmouthing one's boss is good to follow, but it doesn't mean you should lie. Stay on top of your game if the interviewer says he or she knows of that dentist, alluding to how he treats patients. Some people try to encourage such admissions to see how far you will go by exposing an employer's bad behavior. So don't fall into the trap of thinking it is OK to release all your negative thoughts about the dentist. Take control of the interview by changing the focus and talking about how you enjoy client contact and being helpful. The interviewer will then see you as a person who will not fall prey to gossip. You may never work for a boss with the perfect personality, but how people see you is what matters when securing another job.
Email career and life coach LindseyNovak@yahoo.com with your workplace questions and experiences. For more information, visit www.lindseyparkernovak.com and for past columns, see www.creators.com/read/At-Work-Lindsey-Novak.
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