Q: While others are consumed with finding themselves and getting into the right careers, I am happy in my no-stress, casual atmosphere, and easy-task job. My problem isn't my job. It's all my friends who can't seem to leave me alone about it. They vary between the friends who continually email me job leads in corporate settings and those who email me articles on motivating oneself and building confidence. Then there are the repeated conversations about "you could do so much more, you're not fulfilling your purpose, you're not making the money you could make, why are you doing this, and what are you afraid of." I could go on and on about all the things friends think I should be doing, and I don't know how to stop them. Maybe they are right — that I'm not living up to my potential — but that's my choice. I don't want to go into therapy to find out why I am not "driven" to succeed. I don't understand why everyone keeps throwing it in my face and can't accept my decision to have an average job. I can't take the stress of a corporate job where I have to produce work like a factory worker being measured for production who doesn't like the work, anyway. Money doesn't motivate me. Buying designer clothing and accessories doesn't impress me. My lifestyle bothers them, and frankly, I'd like to just ask why they are still friends with me if they don't like or agree with my values. Help me stop them.

A: "The road to hell is paved with good intentions," (attributed to Cistercian Abbott Saint Bernard of Clairvaux — 1090 -1153), which means one must not only intend to be well behaved, one must act well behaved. You may call them "friends" based on the far-distant past, but when friends don't accept your values and decisions, it may be time to call them by another name, if they haven't already thrown you aside socially.

Here are a few possible choices. Many people hang onto childhood friends, even though they realize they no longer share anything in common, other than to reminisce on the past. These relationships can be positive or negative, depending on the amount of value one places of the other's opinion. It's important to recognize the different expectations from a now-superficial friend compared to a close friend.

Then there are school friends, current and past work friends, and purely social friends, all that have been formed according to shared interests. The catch is that sharing common interests doesn't always translate to sharing core values.

Your friends obviously see a potential in you that you may not see, value, or wish to pursue. Talents can't turn into business assets when the one with the ability has no interest in using or promoting it. It sounds like your friends, from whichever group you've collected them, have different core values and goals than you.

They have clearly voiced their opinions to you; now it's your turn to express your values to them. You can't get them to stop by ignoring their comments, articles, and job ads or by delivering flippant responses, such as "stop" or "not interested" when you receive such suggestions. Your friends think they are helping you; they are reacting according to their values and the abilities they observe in you.

You need to either write a detailed email to all of them or talk to each one about your thoughts, values, goals, and whatever else you are basing your dislike of the corporate world and your refusal to act on their suggestions. Thought they are acting on best intentions, they are wasting their thoughts, time, and energy on someone who doesn't want or appreciate it. Once you explain your goals and they stop trying to reform you, you will see which ones choose to remain friends with you, or vice versus.

Email all questions to LindseyNovak@yahoo.com. For more about her, visit www.lindseyparkernovak.com or follow her on Twitter @TheLindseyNovak and Facebook at Lindsey.Novak.12. For past columns, visit Creators Syndicate Website at www.creators.com.