Q: I work for a doctor who we all think has a narcissistic personality. He is always late for patients (we think it is intentional), and he feels he is, without question, more important than anyone else. He criticizes almost all of his staff and boasts about himself daily. He even thinks he is better than all other doctors. His personality will not allow him to take one comment from us, even if it would help his practice run smoothly. He strangely tries to pit us against one another, but we see what he's doing and band together.

Many people think all doctors are like this, but this is not true. Some are good to work for, but those jobs never open up. It's hard to live with this situation, but I will not quit without finding another job. In the meantime, can I do anything to convince this doctor that he is destroying his own practice by the way he treats us? Turnover here is high.

A: Few adults can change or break bad habits, even when they want to. If he is a narcissist, he cannot change, nor will he value anything you tell him. You will, though, succeed in making him angry. If you want to keep your job until you are ready to quit, placate him by being that "yes, sir" person he wants. The Serenity Prayer is used in practice by Alcoholics Anonymous, but it is a perfect guidance tool for everyone. "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference." A self-centered, egocentric boss is one of those things.

BOSS HAS "DO AS I SAY, NOT AS I DO" ATTITUDE

Q: I work as a security guard for a luxury condominium complex. We are not the type of roughneck security guards who wear guns. We have to look good, be there for appearance's sake, and assist condo owners (but not in their units). One rule is that we are not allowed to accept odd jobs from the owners, like moving boxes or hanging pictures for them after our shift ends.

One of the security guards is also our supervisor. It's crazy to have a boss who does the same work as we do but is above us, but that's how it was set up. He is the threatening type when he is being himself, but he knows how to hide his real self and smooth talk the condo board.

He ignores all the rules, which he thinks are for the other guards. When owners ask the guards to do different small jobs, we have to say we are not allowed to take on work for owners. They go to him since he is the supervisor and offers to do it. I am on his good side and don't want to cross him. Is there a way to handle this guy? He controls everything.

A: He is operating like a gang member, so doing anything behind his back would not be a good idea. The other guards and the condo board are in a difficult situation. If you speak to the board alone, it may not believe you and may naively report you to your supervisor. If all the guards speak to the board of directors, and it believes them, it may become too afraid to act for fear of angering him. Many condominium complexes hire independent companies whose sole purpose is to hire and manage security guards. The security company brings in security guards for the property, and the condo has no commitment to any of the guards.

Since you cannot accept after-hours work where tips could augment your income, look for another job where the situation is more favorable and leave your current job on good terms.

Email your questions to workplace expert Lindsey Novak at LindseyNovak@yahoo.com and follow her on Twitter @I_truly_care. To find out more about Lindsey Novak and to read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Website at www.creators.com.