Q: I am an executive assistant at a small business where most of the employees are women. All of the women are or have been married. They all have children and some even have grandchildren. Although I was engaged once, I have never been married nor have children.

I have gotten along with my colleagues since I joined the company nearly two years ago. Everyone spends an hour eating together every day in the lunchroom. I had work-related conversations with them, until one of the women got married and quickly got pregnant. The conversations then changed to being about personal subjects: marriage, pregnancy, morning sickness, childbirth and child-rearing.

Since I haven't had any of these experiences, I can't participate in these conversations, and now I go out to lunch alone. I feel the situation has created a gulf between my co-workers and me, though we still get along cordially during work hours. How do I handle this situation?

A: It sounds like you are the only one affected or concerned about the change in the lunch situation. If your co-workers were concerned about your not eating lunch with the group, any one of them could have privately apologized to you about the fact that the subjects possibly left you out of the conversations.

On the other side, you could have joined in the talks by sharing your friends' experiences with pregnancy and children. Once you participated in the personal conversations, you could have then brought up other topics with the group.

Not asking you about why you stopped eating with them doesn't mean they dislike you; it just means your absence doesn't affect them. What is concerning is that before the group got into sharing marriage and pregnancy stories, you mentioned your conversations were work-related.

Lunchtime is a mental as well as physical break from the job, so your work-related conversations during lunch may have been as disturbing to them as their marriage conversations were to you. Your co-worker's lifestyle has changed drastically, and as it evolves, the pregnancy conversations will probably get "tiring" to all and branch out to other topics. Unfortunately, you won't be there to participate because you've removed yourself from the group.

People should be able to converse with all types of people: married, single, loaded with children or childfree. Sharing all kinds of experiences is what expands the mind and makes life interesting. Your co-workers with children had life experiences before they had children, so you could have initiated conversations on other topics. Natural conversations flow and jump from topic to topic, experience to experience, whether it's about movies, TV shows, restaurants, recipes, products or the never-ending events in the news. The number of topics to discuss is mind-boggling.

It is now time for you to rejoin the group, becoming an active member and possibly a friend. If you are uncomfortable with personal conversations, work on it so your co-workers can enjoy your company as well as respect you as a fellow employee.

EMPLOYEE WANTS TO REPLACE CO-WORKER

Q: A co-worker is going to quit, but she does not want to tell the boss yet. I really want her job. Should I tell my boss I know she is going to quit and tell him I am interested in it?

A: Be helpful and tell her how she should handle it. Tell her not to quit without notice or too short of notice, because it will ruin her chance for a good reference. Also tell her you would like her job when she leaves, so if she wants to leave on a positive note, you would appreciate her recommending you for the job when she gives the proper notice.

Email your questions to workplace expert Lindsey Novak at LindseyNovak@yahoo.com and follow her on Twitter @I_truly_care. To find out more about Lindsey Novak and to read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Website at www.creators.com.