Q: I'm a hard worker with solid common sense. When I get a job, my bosses are always impressed by my performance — and surprised by it too. More than one boss has told me that he hired me, but I would have to prove myself if I wanted to keep the job. They would later admit they didn't think it was going to work. It's not just words when I say I'm a hard worker, and I'm also smart in figuring out better ways to do things. My problem is that I get bored after a year or two and feel I have to quit the job and find another. That's where I have even more trouble.

I am a different person in interviews. I get so nervous and worked up that my brain freezes. I sometimes can't even get the words out without every other word being "oh, uh, well." It's horrible. I can't control it, no matter how much I rehearse beforehand. The minute I am in front of someone, I know he or she is judging me, and I fall apart. It is only by a miracle that I periodically get lucky enough to meet someone who unexplainably is willing to give me a chance. I always prove myself in the job, but I can't deal with the interviewing process, and I can't count on divine interference to always save me. How do I stop this from happening?

A: Your nervousness stems from knowing you're being judged, and that can be due to a deeper level of insecurity and shyness. Take comfort knowing you can resolve your dilemma, but it isn't going to happen overnight. It took time to develop and it will take time to change, but with dedicated effort, you can do it. "100 Ways to Overcome Shyness / Go From Self-Conscious to Self-Confident," Barton Goldsmith, Ph.D. and Marlena Hunter, MA, (Career Press 2015) is a powerful self-help book offering a realistic process for anyone who wants to overcome that nerve-wracking feeling of insecurity, along with its negative behavioral responses.

"Shy people in particular tend to experience rejection more often due to their expectation of being rejected, and though being self-critical may have helped in the past, there are practice exercises to promote change. "Approximately 80 percent of our communication is accomplished through body language. Paying attention to your physical behavior, as well as your verbal behavior will help you alter how you present yourself to others. When you interview, maintain respectful yet natural eye contact, keep your arms and legs uncrossed, smile and nod to show agreement, practice good posture to portray self-confidence, and shake hands firmly while making eye contact. Listen to yourself when talking to stop the meaningless sound bites of "um, like, and ah."

Goldsmith and Hunter suggest practicing empathy when you speak to others. Ask open-ended questions instead of seeking factual information. People respond positively to natural conversation that shows you're interested. "Friendship ... can be the difference between a life of joy and one of loneliness." You need a reliable friend who won't judge you, as being judged is what causes the pain that shy people experience.

Listen to your intuition, but you must silence your fears that cause anxiety so you can hear the messages from your true self. As you move through the exercises in the 100 chapters to achieve a positive mindset, take note of your changes. Your goal is not to simply be better in the interviewing process, but to rid yourself of the negative inner talk that likely affects all areas of your life.

Email your questions to workplace expert Lindsey Novak at LindseyNovak@yahoo.com and follow her on Twitter @TheLindseyNovak. To find out more about Lindsey Novak, visit the Creators Syndicate Website at www.creators.com.

Photo credit: Elliott Brown