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When the Spark of Love Dies Out Mar. 02, 2024

Dear AnnieĀ®

Dear Annie: This is a tough situation and I'm at a loss for what to do next. First, I've been battli... Read More

Santa Paws is Coming to Town Dec. 20, 2022

Lost in Suburbia

"What is all this?" asked my husband when he walked in the door. He waved at a big stack of gifts as... Read More

Honk if You Like Santa Dec. 13, 2022

Lost in Suburbia

As I circled the mall parking lot for the 30th time, I finally saw a pair of red lights two rows ove... Read More

This Column is Full of Bologna Dec. 06, 2022

Lost in Suburbia

The great thing about handbags is that no matter how much weight you gain or lose, they always fit. ... Read More

For Whom the Toilet Paper Rolls Nov. 29, 2022

Lost in Suburbia

"Can you pick up some more tissues at the supermarket?" I asked my husband. "I'm not going out right... Read More

The Mean, Old Turkey of Turkeytown Nov. 22, 2022

Lost in Suburbia

There was a wild turkey in the middle of the road. And this turkey, it seemed, was in no hurry to go... Read More

Can You Hear Me Now? Nov. 15, 2022

Lost in Suburbia

"What did you say?" said my husband. "You think I need to get my meerkat net?" "No. I said, 'I think... Read More

God Save Our Scale Nov. 08, 2022

Lost in Suburbia

I've had a love-hate relationship with my scale for as long as I can remember — mostly hate &#... Read More

Feeling Melon-choly Nov. 01, 2022

Lost in Suburbia

In the world of melons, you've basically got your cantaloupes, your honeydews and your watermelons. ... Read More

Where to Hide the Body Oct. 25, 2022

Lost in Suburbia

"Where do you want me to put the dead body?" asked my husband one night as we were getting ready for... Read More

The Handy-Dandy Halloween Candy Dilemma Oct. 18, 2022

Lost in Suburbia

Years ago, when we lived on a cul-de-sac where the houses were far apart, we got very few trick-or-t... Read More

Bowie Beckerman: Dog Genius Sep. 20, 2022

Lost in Suburbia

"The dog is barking," I said to my husband, looking at the new puppy barking at my feet. "I can hear... Read More

One Appliance to Rule Them All Sep. 13, 2022

Lost in Suburbia

I have a dryer that doesn't dry. You would think that if you are a household appliance and you only ... Read More

A Nose for Trip Insurance Aug. 30, 2022

Lost in Suburbia

"So, there are some exclusions in the coverage for the trip insurance I'm considering for our winter... Read More

Commander of the Goose Droppings Aug. 23, 2022

Lost in Suburbia

"We have company," I said to my husband. "Are they at the door?" he wondered. "No, they're on the la... Read More

Tilt-A-Whirl Jul. 26, 2022

Lost in Suburbia

"Did you know you have a tilted uterus?" My gynecologist asked during a routine exam. Honestly, I wa... Read More

One Word... Sounds Like... Biscuits Jul. 19, 2022

Lost in Suburbia

"Hi, honey, it's me," I said to my husband on the phone. "Hey, what's up?" he replied. Me: "I just g... Read More

The Itsy-Bitsy, Cranky-Wanky Spider Jul. 12, 2022

Lost in Suburbia

One of the things you have to put up with in an old house is lots of old spiders. Well, technically,... Read More

Something to Crow About Jun. 28, 2022

Lost in Suburbia

It isn't every day you see a guy walking down the street carrying a 50-pound rooster. Of course, I'm... Read More

Show Me the Honey Jun. 07, 2022

Lost in Suburbia

The first time I felt the wasp buzz by my ear, I didn't really notice. I was engrossed in a book and... Read More