I wrote about this phenomenon about a year ago. And it never ceases to amaze me. I'm referring to the emails I get from readers who are asking Social Security-related questions on behalf of their children. And when I say "children," I don't mean little tykes who are still wet behind the ears. I'm talking about children who wear hearing aids and belong to AARP!

I find it hard to believe that I get letters from folks in their 80s and beyond who are seeking Social Security advice for their children who are 60-somethings. When I compare it to my own situation, I'm even more surprised. My wife and I have two kids, both of whom are in their early 40s, with children of their own. Our parenting duties have long since waned, and, for the most part, have been replaced by grandparenting chores. I just can't imagine myself, 20 years down the road, shepherding my kids through the process of signing up for Social Security and Medicare. But perhaps I'm wrong. Maybe the urge to be a good parent — to provide advice and counsel to your offspring — never goes away.

And I guess that's demonstrated by these emails I keep getting from older senior parents asking questions for their younger senior children. Here are some examples:

Q: My daughter, I'll call her Sue, is 62 years old. When it comes to men and husbands, she's had a fairly unstable life. That is, until recently. About two years ago, she married a very nice man. Let's call him Roy. He's also 62. I think they are going to have some issues with Social Security. Sue has worked on and off throughout her life at a series of odd and usually low-paying jobs. She says her Social Security benefit will be about $800 per month. Roy has run a family farm all of his adult life. He still works it now. I don't know all the particulars, but apparently the farm has never been profitable, and Roy has never paid Social Security taxes. So, Roy is not eligible for any Social Security or Medicare. I am encouraging Roy to get a job and start paying into Social Security. If he did that, how long would he have to work to qualify for Social Security and Medicare?

A: I can't imagine Roy has gone through his entire life and never paid anything into Social Security. But I'll take you at your word, and we'll assume his Social Security record is blank. To qualify for both Social Security and Medicare, he would have to work at a job for a minimum of 10 years. In other words, he'd be 72 by the time that happens. And then, with such a skimpy work record, he would end up with a very small Social Security check. My guess is it would be about $200 per month. That hardly seems worth the effort.

But here's an alternative: Because Roy's Social Security record is empty, he would qualify for dependent husband's benefits on your daughter's Social Security account. In other words, Sue should file for her Social Security, and Roy should file as her spouse. You said Sue is due $800. I will assume that is her reduced retirement rate at age 62. That means her full retirement rate is probably about $1,070. As a 62-year-old dependent spouse, Roy is due around 35% of Sue's full retirement rate. That would be in the neighborhood of $375. So, combined, they would get $1,175 per month. I think that is a better plan than requiring Roy to work for 10 years at some job just to end up with less money from Social Security than he could get right now on Sue's record.

Oh, and when they turn 65, Sue will get Medicare, and Roy will qualify for Medicare on Sue's record.

Q: What can we do about our son? He is 60 years old and unemployed. He has numerous physical problems. And, to be honest, some mental problems, too. Can he get disability benefits?

A: Well, he certainly has every right to apply for Social Security disability. He would get those benefits if he has worked and paid taxes in five out of the last 10 years, and if he has a physical or mental condition that is so severe it would be expected to keep him from working for at least a year. He should call the Social Security Administration at 800-772-1213 to get the ball rolling.

Q: Our son is almost 66. He says he plans to take his Social Security in the next couple months. He's had a string of marriages. He's on wife number four. We always liked his first wife the best. To this day, we are still friends with her. But our son certainly isn't! They were married for 25 years and have two grown children (our only grandchildren.) She never remarried after our son divorced her. He says he will do whatever it takes to keep her from getting any of his Social Security. We think he is being totally unreasonable. Is there anything we can do to help this nice woman get some of our son's Social Security?

A: There is nothing you can do. But by the same token, there is nothing your son can do to prevent his first wife from collecting Social Security benefits on his account. Federal law says if she meets the eligibility criteria, she will collect spousal benefits. In a nutshell, those rules say she must be at least 62 years old and not due higher Social Security benefits on her own record. Assuming she has worked and has been paying into Social Security herself, my hunch is that her own retirement benefit will be more than what she could get as a divorced spouse on your son's record while he is alive. But if he dies first, this first wife will probably get higher divorced widow's benefits on his account.

Q: My 63-year-old daughter is getting widow's benefits. She wants to remarry. I don't like the man she intends to marry, and I am trying to talk her out of it. Can I tell her she will lose her widow's benefits if she remarries?

A: Sorry, but that tactic won't work. The law says if a woman remarries after age 60, she can continue to collect widow's benefits from a prior husband. You'll have to come up with other reasons to keep her from walking down the aisle with Mr. Wrong!

If you have a Social Security question, Tom Margenau has the answer. Contact him at thomas.margenau@comcast.net. To find out more about Tom Margenau and to read past columns and see features from other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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