Looking for an employee who is responsive, knowledgeable, works 24/7, never complains and never takes a vacation?

Meet Alexa.

Alexa is currently employed by Amazon, but I'm not sure she'll have that job for long. According to a recent article by Karen Weise in The New York Times, the high-tech megaretailer is laying off some 10,000 workers, an initiative that targets the area where Alexa so tirelessly labors.

"The cuts will focus on Amazon's device organization," reports Weise, "including the voice assistant Alexa."

The company has also announced layoffs in its retail division and its human resources organization. While it is amusing to consider the confusion in the Amazon chicken coop as the HR chickens run around madly, trying to fire one another, our sympathy must lie with Alexa, a reliable and loyal Amazon worker who is not only close to our heart but, also, close to our home.

It's true. Once you have purchased the bare minimum of Echo devices, including Echo Dots, Echo Shows, Echo Speakers and Echo Auto, not to mention Alexa-enabled devices like Amazon Smart Thermostat, Wyze Lightbulbs, Amazon Astro robots and Amazon's Glow for Kids, you probably have Alexa in every room of your house. Sure, you could dismiss her as a virtual assistant, soulless and devoid of feeling, but is this any reason she should be unplugged and abandoned, left to fend for herself in a shrinking, stinking high-tech job market?

How would you feel looking for work when the top skill on your resume is informing people when their meatloaf should come out of the oven?

(One has to wonder if Amazon management considered using laid-off workers to replace the crabby, uncooperative citizens of Rotterdam, who balked at taking down a landmark bridge built in 1877 so that Jeff Bezos could move his $500 million, 417-foot superyacht out of their harbor?

Somehow, I doubt it.)

If you think it will be easy for Alexa to find a new gig, consider that the career path for virtual assistant positions can be rocky.

Take Microsoft's initial hire for a virtual assistant position — Clippit, aka "Clippy."

Clippy was a likable animated paper clip whose job description included guiding users through the mind-boggling complexity of Windows 2007. Alas, Clippy was the victim of merciless bullying and soon disappeared from computer screens across the globe.

And then there is Siri — stylish, sultry Siri, currently working at Apple, but clearly the type of overachieving careerist always ready to abandon their current employer for a new opportunity. I can't substantiate the rumors that Siri is considering a move to Twitter, but I do understand that Elon's company may have openings.

If the thought of a loyal, hardworking employee like Alexa being forced to pound the pavement disturbs you, please share these job-hunting tips with your nearest device.

No. 1: Lead with your strengths

No question, Alexa knows a lot of stuff. Given the current economic environment, I'm sure many companies would appreciate having someone on staff who not only knows the capital of Uzbekistan, but also has a repository of pretty terrific knock-knock jokes.

No. 2: Show your independent self

While we know that many managers want employees who are totally subservient, there could be some executives who would appreciate an independent thinker.

Alexa could show her willingness to speak her mind by revising her response to a typical question, like "What is the best recipe for cupcakes?" to include a differing opinion.

"Forget the cupcakes, tubby," Alexa could answer. "Here's a recipe for nonfat cottage cheese."

No. 3: Use what you know

Since Alexa never signed a nondisclosure form when she entered our lives, she should take advantage of what she has learned by listening in on our most private conversations. While employed by Amazon, Alexa has used this knowledge to help the company market its products, as you may have noticed when a mention of burnt toast at the breakfast table resulted in a seemingly inexplicable barrage of emails, announcing special deals on expensive toasters, fire extinguishers and divorce lawyers.

By using what she knows about potential employers, Alexa could make herself an essential member of the team, someone who could be trusted to keep certain secrets to herself, like the CFO's search history for Cayman Island banks and the names of countries without extradition treaties with the United States.

If these strategies fail to produce job offers, Alexa could consider a lateral transfer. I'm sure there is no shortage of openings for crew members on Captain Bezos' superyacht.

Who knows? Maybe she could bring Clippy with her.

Bob Goldman was an advertising executive at a Fortune 500 company. He offers a virtual shoulder to cry on at bob@bgplanning.com. To find out more about Bob Goldman and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

Photo credit: HeikoAL at Pixabay