Am I right, or am I right?

When the boss calls you into their office, you never know what to expect.

The boss could be raging. The boss could be laughing. The boss could be weeping, or sleeping, or singing. These and dozens of other examples of unexpected boss behavior are all possible, all except one: The boss could be playing with Legos.

Right?

Wrong!

"Why More Companies Are Putting Lego Bricks in the Office" is the title of a recent article by Daryl Austin in The Wall Street Journal. According to Austin's reporting, companies are bringing Lego products into the office because "it helps with creativity, anxiety and communication."

I can see the creativity aspect, and maybe even the communication part, as in, "I always thought you had the brain of a 6-year-old, and now, I'm sure." As for reducing anxiety — no way. Seeing an executive sitting at their desk playing with toys would surely make one question the competence of senior management. What's next — a board of director's meeting in a bounce house? Followed immediately by birthday cake and bankruptcy?

(Of course, you could also argue that using Legos to build miniature beach houses and teeny-tiny Teslas would keep your boss from behavior that could be far more disruptive, like trying to use their teeny-tiny brains to make business decisions.)

One company that has benefitted from putting Legos in the C-suite is Lego A/S. The Danish company that makes and markets the pimply little blocks even has a special division to promote corporate block-building parties. It's called Lego Serious Play — LSP to its friends. And LSP has lots of friends.

There are more than 13,000 certified LSP "facilitators" running "training workshops (that) cost $500 to $5,000, range from two hours to two days, and might include a handful of employees or many dozen."

Well worth the money, I think. If someone can't learn how to play with Legos after two $5,000 days of training, they should be fired. Or promoted: a manager this clueless is clearly the kind of leader every company needs.

One way enlightened bosses put Legos to use in the office is to ask employees "to address company concerns or aspirations by first building a small Lego model from a handful of bricks, then describing what they constructed and why."

This is an excellent way to extract an employee's true feelings when they might be hesitant to speak out. Building a colorful Lego gallows or a tiny Lego electric chair might suggest an employee is not 100% certain of the company's future, or their own.

If you think only a small, oddball company would integrate Legos into their corporate life, you'll be surprised to learn that corporate giants like Microsoft, Visa and Google have been playing with Legos, as has the U.S. Naval Warfare Division, though I assume the Navy would prefer water toys, like Waddle Bobbers and Squirties. Get those admirals in a bathtub, and who knows what can happen!

Personally, I think playing with toys does have a place in corporate life. I'm just not sure Legos are the right choice. How about giving every manager a bunch of Transformers? A toy that transforms from a car into a mindless automaton demonstrates perfectly what most companies want their employees to become: a bunch of well-trained robots.

Alternately, if the stress of today's business environment is making employees feel nervous, think of all the counseling hours that could be avoided if the Human Resources Department distributed stuffed Squishmallows for everyone in the team to clutch during turbulent staff meetings. A Classic 46-inch Bozo Bop Bag would also be useful, teaching employees how to bounce back when their best ideas are unceremoniously knocked down. The downside with this toy is that if someone calls for a Bozo, a manager will show up.

And let's not forget Play-Doh. The squishy, sticky stuff can do more than make flowers, cookies and unicorns. During difficult days at the office, employees can calm themselves by making fake tabs of Xanax. It's a lot easier than getting a prescription and cheaper than the real thing, too, so company health insurance might pay for it.

Of course, if a company insists on using Legos, I recommend the Lego Minecraft play set, in which players must battle hostile mobs and avoid hidden traps as they desperately try to blindly navigate a treacherous, multilevel battlefield.

If that isn't exactly what working at your company is like, I don't know what is.

Bob Goldman was an advertising executive at a Fortune 500 company. He offers a virtual shoulder to cry on at bob@bgplanning.com. To find out more about Bob Goldman and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

Photo credit: www_slon_pics at Pixabay