As mother used to say, "You're not the only pebble on the beach."

It's true. You may spend all your time thinking about yourself, but there are other pebbles out there and, as painful as this sounds, it could be to your benefit to hear what they have to say.

Or so I gleaned from a recent article by Kathy Caprino for Forbes.

Caprino is a career and executive coach. In addition to listening to her clients, she also lends her ear to almost anyone who crosses her path. For example, she encouraged the clerk at her local AT&T store to regale her with tales of his "upbringing, education and important life lessons he'd learned."

So now you know: When you're endlessly standing in line at the AT&T store, waiting to replace the Hallmark Channel on your cable box with the Spice Network, you shouldn't blame AT&T. Blame the lady at the front of the line, chatting up the clerk to learn his "ultimate dreams for his life and career."

The reason Caprino needs to pry into the private lives of everyone she meets is simple curiosity. She's always been "very curious about what lights people up, what drives them forward."

This is an admirable trait, except when what lights a person up and drives them forward is a sincere desire to be left the hell alone.

The thrust of the article is that serious listening — "without an agenda or a desire to change people" — can have a positive effect in your life and at your job. I'm not sure about the life part, but I totally agree about the job part. Not only will "listening with an open heart" build trust with your co-workers, but also you're likely to learn information you can later use to stab them in the back.

In order to transform yourself from a talker into a listener, Caprino suggests a number of strategies. I suggest you listen.

"Stop moving so fast — slow down" is a way to give yourself time to listen. "We simply cannot engage with others meaningfully when we're running around like chickens with our heads cut off."

While slowing down is good advice for most people — and all chickens — it is a dangerous strategy for someone whose top speed is slower than a neurasthenic zombie. The trick for you will be to slow down without your having your "open heart" flatlining.

Paramedics arriving at your work station to shock you back to life with defibrillator paddles will certainly add excitement to the workday, but it's risky and it could be painful. On the other hand, as the ambulance races to the emergency room, you'll have the opportunity to find out the ultimate dreams of the EMTs.

A woo-woo strategy to get you talking less and listening more is to "realize that everyone you meet has a message that you're meant to hear." This may be true, but do be careful. That strange-o in HR who keeps leaving pipe cleaner finger puppets on your desk has a message, but it will be in your best interest not to listen to it.

A safer strategy is to "appreciate your differences with others, but also our sameness." The idea here is to stop associating only with people who are "clones of ourselves." There may be value to this idea, but let's face it, there is little chance you will find anyone who is remotely as weird as you. If it happens, you may indeed have to listen to them, but do keep your distance.

The last person you want to meet in a dark corner of the supply closet is you.

If you do start listening more, the article concludes, "You'll start seeing important 'messages' and opportunities in everything around you." Personally, I doubt that the losers at your work are worth listening to, but messages from other sources must be heard and obeyed.

When the toaster burns your morning Pop-Tart, it's a message that you shouldn't go to work. If you go to work and your computer crashes, it's a message that you should go to lunch. When your co-workers arrive at your work station carrying torches and demanding that you stop being so darn nosy, it's time to get another job.

Perhaps that job should be working for yourself. It will be lonely, sure, but look on the bright side. The only person you'll have to listen to is you.

Bob Goldman was an advertising executive at a Fortune 500 company, but he finally wised up and opened Bob Goldman Financial Planning in Sausalito, California. He now works out of Bellingham, Washington. He offers a virtual shoulder to cry on at bob@bgplanning.com. To find out more about Bob Goldman, and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at creators.com.

Photo credit: at Pixabay