Every couple with kids knows the drill: A youngster wakes up at night, crying, and the mother turns to the father who turns out to be deep asleep. Or at least he pretends to be.

So it should be no surprise that new research finds that having kids in the house affects the quality of sleep for women much more than for men. Scientists surveyed 5,800 people to see how long they slept. They asked about age, race, employment status and number of kids at home. Among women under age 45, just under half of those with kids reported getting at least seven hours of sleep per night compared to 62 percent for women with no kids.

For men, there was no difference in sleep times between those with or without kids.

This was a retrospective study, however, so respondents relied upon their memory of sleeping patterns. It's possible people were a little groggy in their recollections.

Live Longer... Elsewhere

There's a new report projecting life expectancies around the world in coming years. The good news: The largest increases will push women and men in places like South Korea, Australia and Switzerland to the high-80s, and in the case of South Korean women, over age 90.

The bad news: U.S. life expectancy, already lower than in many other wealthy countries, will show one of the smallest increases to just 79.5 years for men and 83.5 for women.

Worse news: Other studies have suggested life expectancy in the U.S. will drop in future years for both genders. Researchers blame several factors: death rates have risen for eight of 10 leading causes of death and obesity levels, an aging population and economic struggles will exact higher tolls.

Body of Knowledge

Your heart gets all of the headlines, but your liver may be the hardest working organ in your body. Researchers have counted more than 500 different functions, from producing bile (needed to digest fats) and recycling old red blood cells to endlessly detoxifying your system of harmful substances.

Life in Big Macs

One hour of having your nails done by someone else burns 68 calories (based on a 150-pound person) or the equivalent of 0.1 Big Mac. You probably lose more weight from the trimmed fingernails than you do metabolically.

Counts

16.3: Number of deaths per 100,000 people from fatal drug overdoses, up from 6.1 deaths in 1999

Source: CDC

Doc Talk

Displopia. Displopia: Double vision

Phobia of the Week

Cibophobia: fear of food

Never Say Diet

The Major League Eating record for chili is 8.5 32-ounce bowls in 6 minutes, held by Joey Chestnut. Warning: Most of these records are held by professional eaters; the rest by people who really should find something better to do.

Best Medicine

A much-harried baseball manager went in for a physical.

"You have an ulcer," declared the manager's physician. "You'll need to avoid becoming too excited or angry. And try to forget about baseball when you're off the field."

"OK," said the manager.

"By the way," added the doctor, "why'd you let the pitcher bat yesterday in the ninth with the tying run on second and two men out?"

Observation

"Keeping your body healthy is an expression of gratitude to the whole cosmos - the trees, the clouds, everything." —Buddhist monk, author and activist Thich Nhat Hanh

Medical History

This week in 1969, Dr. Denton Cooley implanted a total artificial heart into a 2-month-old patient. Three days later, the patient received a heart transplant, but died of respiratory insufficiency only 14 hours later.

Medical Myths

Cross this one off your list: Varicose veins are not caused by excessively crossing your legs while sitting or by standing too much. The primary cause of these unsightly veins (enlarged, gnarled blood vessels close to the skin surface and thus visible) is increased blood pressure. There's a major genetics aspect — the condition can run in families — but other causes are obesity, gender, inactivity, age and pregnancy.

Crossing legs is not a cause. Standing isn't either, though standing for long periods may exacerbate an existing problem. One acquired cause may be blood clots in the veins, which can result in enlarged vessels months or even years after the initial problem.

Though perhaps inevitable for some people, varicose veins can be treated with remedies ranging from compression stockings to injections to surgical procedures.

Med School

Q: What is the total daily output of hormones from the pituitary gland?

A: The pituitary gland is tiny, just half a gram, and 85 percent of that is water. Its hormonal output is puny too: 1/1,000,000 of a gram. But powerful. The hormones secreted by the pituitary gland govern things like when a woman releases her single mature egg each month or how big a person will grow.

Curtain Calls

Moliere, the acclaimed French actor and playwright died in 1673, succumbing to a violent coughing fit while playing the title role in his play "Le Malade imaginaire" or "The Hypochondriac." Actually, Moliere managed to complete his performance, then collapsed backstage. The likely cause of death: pulmonary tuberculosis. The acting superstition that green brings back luck is said to originate from the color of the clothing he was wearing at the time of his death, though the admonition not to wear green on stage may arise from the fact that early plays were often outside and the color caused actors to be lost in background foliage.

To find out more about Scott LaFee and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.