DR. WALLACE: My older brother is a good guy and a pretty decent athlete. I'm two years behind him in high school and I look up to him a lot.

What's strange is that my parents, especially my father, will sometimes make crude comments to my brother when a particular sporting game he's involved in doesn't turn out well for his team. My father will criticize not only my brother, but also other players on the team, and sometimes even the coaches.

Of course, his critical remarks are always made in the safety of our home with no one else within earshot. In public, he says all the right things to other parents, the coaches, and to anyone else associated with the team.

I feel really bad for my brother, because he gets criticized way too much and everything seems so negative. He's actually a really good player who tries really hard and is a good teammate. I don't feel he deserves to be talked to like this. Is there anything I can do about it? — My Father Is So Negative, via email

MY FATHER IS SO NEGATIVE: A good start would be to speak to your mother about this, and fully voice all of your opinions and ask her if she feels there's anything she can do.

Beyond that, speak directly with your brother and let him know how proud you are of him and go on to explain that perhaps your father gets negative because he is rooting for your brother to succeed perfectly, even if that's unrealistic. Tell your brother that, in your opinion, you feel your father is really proud of him too, but that he just demonstrates it in a less-than-optimal manner.

I feel this is a diplomatic way to address the situation, since confronting your father directly about this would likely be difficult for you. Your mother may be better equipped for that role, so encourage her to speak up on your behalf and let you know if she makes any headway in convincing your father to dial his critical comments back.

WHAT SHOULD I DO WITH HER UNSOLICITED ADVICE?

DR. WALLACE: There's a certain popular boy at our school who recently showed interest in me. He's always seeking me out on campus, talking to me, and asking me how I'm doing.

He has had a reputation for changing his girlfriends every three or four months over the last few years. I feel that I know this in advance, and if he asks me out, which I'm pretty sure he will soon, I've already decided I will accept the invitation.

One of my best girlfriends saw me talking with him at school yesterday, and on our lunch break, she told me she had heard a lot of derogatory stories about him. When I asked her the details of what she had heard or who had told it to her, her replies became extremely vague and sketchy. She told me she couldn't remember exactly what was said, but that it was not good and the person who told her was a friend of one of her brothers, but she didn't remember the person's name.

I, of course, don't necessarily believe this, so I'm not asking you what to do if I do get invited out on a date. Should I confront my friend further about what I believe to be a bogus allegation, or just ignore what she said to me entirely? — She Gave No Details, via email

SHE GAVE NO DETAILS: My advice is to file what she told you in the back of your mind and not worry about it. You obviously have been carefully thinking about the situation that might develop, and you seem to be more than capable of handling yourself, given your excellent communication skills.

Whenever someone spreads rumors or gossip and then cannot be specific regarding the source or the pertinent details, no absolute validity should be assigned. Even if what was said was true, it wasn't explained believably or reliably.

If you do date this guy, you should keep your eyes and ears open and evaluate his sincerity directly yourself. We don't know for sure the motivation behind the comments you recently heard, but jealousy could be a contender.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at rwallace@thegreatestgift.com. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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