DR. WALLACE: I'm soon going to become a foreign exchange student. I'm 17 and have a great romantic partner here in the USA, but since I'll be gone for nine months, I wonder if we should both date others during this time period?

Our current relationship is fantastic and platonic, and the two of us have discussed building a life together and starting a family once we both graduate college. We haven't really yet seriously discussed this topic regarding my prolonged absence, likely because we are both nervous about it.

I don't want anything to disrupt our plans for a long-term future with each other, but yet at the same time I feel we could both benefit by seeing some other people and enjoying good camaraderie until I finally return home to America.

What's your opinion on this topic? — Foreign Exchange Student, via email

FOREIGN EXCHANGE STUDENT: I agree with your take on the subject wholeheartedly. I suggest the two of you sit down and have an open and honest discussion about this topic. Be sure it isn't a 30-second conversation in passing. Be sure to take your time, sit down and discuss the matter at length and in detail together. Ask each other questions, propose possible scenarios and get each other's opinion on a variety of related topics. This way, you'll both feel much better during your separation.

Since you've already been platonically dating each other, I suggest that you both go on record stating that you'll both limit your dating to platonic encounters on each respective continent.

The more you cover this subject in advance, the better you will both feel about it. If the two of you are truly destined to enjoy a wonderful life together in the long run, this trip of yours should in no way preclude your mutual long-term happiness.

WE HAVE AN UNUSUAL PROBLEM

DR. WALLACE: My boyfriend and I are both college students. He's 20 and I'm 19, and we have been happily dating each other now for over a year! This is by far the best interpersonal, romantic relationship I've ever had in my life.

I dated extensively in high school and even during my first year in college, but once I hooked on to this winner of a guy, I have happily ignored all other dating options and offers!

Normally, this would be a great thing, as we have mutual respect for each other, we get along great and have a lot of laughs together. It's amazing how many common interests and character traits we both share.

So we have no problems at all, right? Not so fast. There is indeed an issue that has caused me to write to you. But this issue is not between the two of us; it's with how the rest of the world looks at us! The reason for this is that even though he's 20 years old, he actually looks like he's somewhere between the ages of 26 and 29. He is 6 feet, 2 inches tall, has a big, burly beard and carries himself like a much more experienced, older person.

On the other hand, I'm quite petite, as I'm barely 5 feet tall and I weigh only about 90 pounds! But the biggest problem is that although I'm 19 years old, I look like I could easily be just 15 or 16! So now you are starting to see our issue, and it's actually that we look to strangers like we don't belong together. Sometimes if we are affectionate and kiss out in public, he will receive some nasty glares from strangers who may be thinking that he's trying to take advantage of an underage teenager.

Of course, our friends and family know us well, and everyone in our inner circle fully approves of both of us, but I still feel pretty uncomfortable in public sometimes.

Is there anything I can do short of wearing a postcard pinned to my clothing that says, "Don't worry, I'm actually 19!"? — I Don't Look My Age, via email

I DON'T LOOK MY AGE: Yours is indeed a unique and tricky situation. On one hand, I could advise you to ignore strangers entirely, since the two of you know the true situation and there's nothing wrong with that at all. However, since you've mentioned that the stares do bother you at times, there may be a few things you can do.

For one, you could dress in public to look older. This would involve wearing clothes and makeup that present you as looking as close to your biological age of 19 as possible. Now, that would involve a trade off, and it's one only you can make. Of course you should be allowed to wear whatever you want, whenever you want to, within reason. But sometimes you'll be out in public looking much younger as a result. Therefore, you'll have to choose which is more important to you, dressing as you wish or dressing to mitigate the "stare factor" as much as possible.

My other idea is a bit more of a reach, but you could always ask your boyfriend to shave his beard at least once so you can get a look at him without it! He may then look closer to his actual age rather than six to eight years older than that.

Of course, the very same applies for him. He should feel free to have a beard or not have a beard as he wishes. But if this issue truly bothers you enough, you may have a heart-to-heart discussion with him about trying one or both of these options to see if it may make you feel a bit more comfortable going forward.

The last suggestion might be one that neither of you are comfortable with, but one that can work if you both have the stomach for it. It would be to approach each person who issues the two of you a look of disapproval, and to engage them verbally by saying, "We get this a lot, but we're actually only one year apart in our ages!"

The good news is that as you both gradually age, this challenge will slowly fade away and you can both enjoy being a wonderful, happy couple in peace.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at rwallace@thegreatestgift.com. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

Photo credit: ThePixelman at Pixabay