DR. WALLACE: I made some significant mistakes in my life last year. I got into some trouble and was assigned a probation officer that I now have to see every month. The probation officer used to go to my school to meet with me, but I've graduated, so now he has to come to where I work.

This is so embarrassing, and I didn't want my co-workers to know that I was in trouble with the law previously, since they all think I am a responsible young man. I have been doing much better this past year, despite the pandemic and all of the chaos our country and the world has been through. I'm one of the lucky ones who works at an "essential business," so my job has continued on even though many of my friends have lost their jobs due to layoffs and shutdowns in our state.

When my co-workers ask me who I'm meeting with and what I'm doing, should I tell them the truth, or do I just say it's none of their business? I am focused on my future now, not my past. I've learned my lesson, and I am confident that I will not repeat my mistakes. It's just that I don't wish to be judged on who I was a year ago. My hope is that my coworkers can continue to think well of me, as they currently do. — New and Improved, via email

NEW AND IMPROVED: I give you credit for both accepting your past mistakes and learning from them. It's a very good sign that you are now so concerned with your reputation. This tells me you won't want to jeopardize the gains and improvements the new and improved version of yourself has accomplished in the past year.

Since it appears that you have moved on from your mistake and are on the way to get your life back on track, I feel you should be honest if your coworkers ask you what's going on. You don't have to tell them every detail of your past mistakes, but you shouldn't lie going forward, either. After all, you are seeking to reestablish your credibility, and lying is not a good way to do that.

Think quite carefully about the best way to answer a potential question regarding these meetings. Run your possible answers by one or both of your parents and/or a trusted relative or friend who already knows about your situation. I feel that with this type of feedback and support, you'll be able to come up with a suitable reply that will not reveal too much but can also keep your present integrity and honesty intact.

HOW COME HE STOPPED CALLING ME?

DR. WALLACE: I met a great guy three months ago, through a longstanding friend of mine, and so I've dated this new guy a handful of times. I really had a good time and thought it was going to go somewhere, albeit gradually.

Then recently, without any warning, he stopped communicating with me entirely! I was given no notification, no information and no explanation. We have one class together at our school, and he acts like we're just friends and we never went out at all on dates. What's the deal with this guy and this development? I'm really puzzled, since there was absolutely no drama during the dates we shared. In fact, I thought they all went well. — Surprised at His Silence, via email

SURPRISED AT HIS SILENCE: Teenage guys can indeed sometimes be flakes, so my first bit of advice is to not take this unwelcome development personally. If you're really interested in what he's thinking, you could always ask him point-blank why he decided to stop asking you out. If you opt to do this, be sure to smile and use a nice, matter-of-fact tone of voice. Don't give him the pleasure of knowing it may be bothering you a little bit. You could act puzzled, for example, and say: "I thought we got along very well, but if you don't want to socialize further, that's fine. It's your loss!"

He may or may not have a great answer for you, and don't be surprised if his answer is weak or, shall we say, lame.

Unless he articulates a very reasonable, logical reason for his behavior, you should move on and date other guys at your very next opportunity. You'll feel better about yourself if you simply realize that teen boys quite often don't even understand what they want themselves!

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at rwallace@thegreatestgift.com. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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