DR. WALLACE: I'm a 17-year-old girl in high school, and I'm discovering that the older I get, the more I like "old-school" activities.

I love making throwback clothes, like tie-dye T-shirts and bell bottom jeans, and I'm always scouring history to find things I can bring back from the past into the present.

Recently, I've been doing a lot of reading online about quilting, and I'm really caught up in it and excited about it. I want to learn how to quilt and to make some very specific quilts for specific purposes. My grandmother on my mother's side is an expert quilter, and she lives only about 20 minutes away. She doesn't make as many quilts now as she used to make, but she's absolutely brilliant at it and has quite a collection.

I thought it would be very easy to let her know I was taking an interest in the quilting field. She's so good at it that I felt it would be a breeze to ask her to help me learn how to quilt properly. But when I asked her about it on a recent family visit to her house for dinner, I was shocked that she told me she would prefer not to "egg me on," as she put it! When I asked her why not, her reply was that I'd soon be bored and would be moving on to other activities!

Part of me was quite shocked to hear this, and another part of me was a bit upset with my grandma. Fortunately, at the time, all I could utter was, "OK, Grandma," so I haven't burned any bridges with her yet. She's been a great grandma to me overall, so I was quite surprised by her answer. Should I just let it go, or is there anything I can do about this? — Grandma's Answer Truly Surprised Me, via email

GRANDMA'S ANSWER TRULY SURPRISED ME: My advice is to not be too harsh with your thinking towards grandma. Just write it off for now because it seems like she thinks today's teenagers may be flighty. She likely doesn't want to suffer the disappointment of getting her hopes up to pass along her skills only to see them tossed aside in short order.

I recommend that you take a beginner quilting class nearby. Go through the process of purchasing the materials, taking the class and seeing what you can do on your own without mentioning anything to your grandmother.

Then when you have your first completed or nearly completed quilt, ask Grandma if you can show her what you've done so far and get her advice on how to make it better the next time.

Being able to physically show your grandma that you are indeed serious about learning how to quilt should quickly open the door to communication, camaraderie and her cooperation to share her coveted secrets about the activity with you.

MY FATHER NEEDS TO BE FAIR ABOUT THIS!

DR. WALLACE: I'm a high school graduate who just turned 18 this summer, and I decided to take a semester off before I decide where to go to college. I've been working part-time in a restaurant as a server, and I've been saving my money.

My boyfriend goes to a college an hour away, but I've also been thinking of attending a four-year university here in my hometown.

My father has told me that if I attend the local college, I can live at home and he'll pay for all of my books and tuition. But if I attend the college an hour away, I'll need to pay my own books and tuition, and I'll either have to move to that city and pay my own expenses or live with my parents for free and commute!

I don't feel this is fair! If he's going to help me with my college expenses, he should do it either way. How can I convince him to pay my college tuition and expenses for books if I decide to go to the college that's out of town? — My Dad Needs To Lighten Up, via email

MY DAD NEEDS TO LIGHTEN UP: Your father's conditional response to your situation tells me in no uncertain terms that he wants you to stay home and attend college in your hometown.

Obviously, as an 18-year-old adult, you can make your own decision either way. And as an adult, you are responsible for yourself and should make your own decisions accordingly. There will be many future times where people attempt to leverage your behavior in one direction or another to suit their desires and purposes, and not necessarily yours.

I feel that instead of trying to convince your father to change his mind, you should think long and hard about which option is better for you at this point in your life and select the option that best suits your present condition. If you and your boyfriend have a solid relationship, you should be able to manage the distance between the two of you if you opt to attend college in your hometown.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at rwallace@thegreatestgift.com. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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