DR. WALLACE: I met my boyfriend where we work, and we dated for well over a year. We both recently turned 20, so we are not teens any longer, but since our relationship started when we were both 18, I feel it's all right to ask you my question. I hope that is acceptable to you!

Anyhow, we were in love, and I truly thought we were going to get married one day. Then came the day I found out I was pregnant. I told my boyfriend, and he seemed happy at first. He didn't really react in any noticeable way, good or bad; it was kind of like he had a poker face about the news. However, he said all the right things to me, so I felt relaxed and very happy. We talked about getting married, and I soon thereafter told my parents the news. Everyone was happy, until a month later when my boyfriend did not show up for work and stopped answering my phone calls!

I'm not sure where my boyfriend went, and I cannot find him anywhere. I went by the automotive business he worked at, and they told me he just did not show up for work one day and that he never called them. In fact, they told me that they have a paycheck for him for a few days of work he did on his last pay period. Apparently, he's not too worried about that money.

Now I've come to realize that he's run out on his unborn child and me. Apparently, he couldn't handle the pressure of his life changing so much. I hate to say it, but I've kind of given up on him already. I don't think I'll ever see him again.

This whole situation has me thinking about having an abortion, but my mom changed my mind about this topic after I had a long heart-to-heart talk with her. There were a lot of tears, and it was a really, really tough and honest conversation, but at the end of it, I made my decision. I will have my child.

I've recently signed adoption papers to give my son away to a couple that can give him the life he deserves. The wife could not have a child of her own, and I felt pretty good about providing them a baby to love.

I know you will tell me that I did a good and reasonable thing, but still I'd like to read it in your column. One day, when my child is 18, maybe I will be able to see him and perhaps have a relationship with him, if it might be appropriate at that time. — Abandoned Girl, via email

ABANDONED GIRL: You were placed in just about the most difficult position possible — a young lady in a long-term relationship who was deserted by the baby's father. Making the decision with your mother's guidance to have the baby and give it up for adoption was a wonderful choice in your case. You had several options and should feel very good that you did what was best for your son. Every young lady in your situation should make the best decision given all of the particular circumstances. And yes, I am very happy for you, your son and the family that plans to raise him. It appears that, in your case, everything lined up well so that a comfortable solution could be reached to everyone's benefit.

I understand that giving your son up for adoption was extremely painful; only you can know the extent of your sorrow in that regard. You have these feelings because you love your son, like all mothers do and always will. You made a supreme sacrifice in giving up the privilege of watching your son grow into a man in order to give him a greater opportunity to succeed in life. Congratulations, and I wish you the very best from here, as you'll have a lot to think about and to deal with going forward in your life. At least you now have a plan to work on, which I trust will give you comfort and peace going forward.

HER MOM MIGHT NOT LIKE ME

DR. WALLACE: I'm 18 years old and dating a 19-year-old girl. We care for and respect each other very much. My concern is her mother. I don't think she likes me. I feel very uncomfortable around her. My girlfriend says that her mom is just shy. I disagree because I've noticed a few of her facial expressions that make me believe she doesn't like me being around her daughter too much. What should I — or can I — do about this? — Disrespected Boyfriend, via email

DISRESPECTED BOYFRIEND: First of all, make it a point to communicate as much as possible with your girlfriend's mother. Be as courteous and pleasant as you can when you are around her. Smile, and use a nice tone of voice. Don't assume anything. After all, your girlfriend knows her mother much better than you do.

Over time, the longer she knows you, the better she will become at forming a true opinion about you. Don't necessarily take any of her actions personally. It could be that she would make any boy who is dating her daughter feel uncomfortable. It would be great to invite her and your girlfriend to lunch on a Saturday afternoon. Since COVID-19 might limit your dining options, you could at least offer to buy a nice to-go order of her mom's favorite lunch foods and bring them to her house. The three of you could then enjoy a meal together, and this would provide her mother a chance to get to know you better. Hopefully, mom will have the opportunity to see and appreciate what a wonderful guy you are and that her daughter is fortunate to be dating you!

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at rwallace@thegreatestgift.com. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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