DR. WALLACE: I'm a single parent of a 12-year-old son and an 11-year-old daughter. I love them both very much. They are my life! I constantly strive to be the best parent possible and I'm always looking for ways to improve. Since you work with teens, I'd like to know what you think makes a successful parent, and I would appreciate any suggestions. — Mom, Ames, Iowa.

MOM: My top three ingredients for successful parenting are: showing love, giving compliments, and listening.

Some time ago, CAREERS AND COLLEGES ran an article entitled "Are Your Parents Driving You Crazy?" It offers 10 useful pointers for parents presented by teens who desire harmony at home. I'm sure you will find some of these useful:

1. Don't label me. When you compare me to someone else and say I'm the musician and he's the athlete, it makes us both feel inadequate.

2. Don't minimize my troubles. If I'm brokenhearted, don't talk to me about "puppy love" and "other fish in the sea." Just listen and try to understand how I'm feeling.

3. Give me a compliment. I know you hate my hair — but praise me on something. Even if you're used to my varsity letters or good grades, I still like to hear that you're proud of me.

4. Play fair. If you had a bad day at work, don't take it out on me. (And if I'm nervous about a test or a date, I'll try not to be crabby to you.)

5. Don't invade my privacy. Treat me with more respect, and I'll do the same.

6. Don't embarrass me in front of friends. I'd rather you save your comments — good or bad — for when we're alone.

7. Spend time with me. Invite me to go out to breakfast or to the movies with you. I just might say yes.

8. Give me information. Tell me what you know about condoms or Chlamydia or drugs — even if I roll my eyes.

9. Choose your grievance. Instead of fighting over everything (room, clothes, music), pick one thing and let's work on getting it straightened out.

10. Start letting go. Families should provide both "roots" and "wings." And besides, you don't want me living at home when I'm 30, do you?

SHOULD I KEEP MY BIG MOUTH SHUT?

DR. WALLACE: I really need your advice, and fast! I have an older 17-year-old sister and we are good pals. Two months ago she was dating a guy, but he got busted for selling some kind of illegal drugs. My mom and Dad talked it over and they told her she never could see him or talk to him on the phone again.

Last week, when my mom wasn't home, this guy called my sister on her cell phone and they talked for 15 minutes. Then my sister admitted to me that she's still talking with this guy and that she thinks he may still be selling drugs, but she's not sure. She asked me not to say anything about this to our mother because she would be very upset. (She is a single mother because our father has remarried.)

This morning, my mom asked me if I thought my sister was still in touch with this guy and I said no. Now I feel guilty that I lied. I'm not in the habit of telling fibs to my parents. What should I do now? Should I keep my big mouth shut or should I tell our mom the truth? - Concerned, Newport, R.I.

CONCERNED: Tell your sister that your mom asked about her boyfriend and you lied to cover for her. Make her aware how uncomfortable you are in this position and tell her she's got to confess what she's been up to. Let her know that if she doesn't do so - give her two days - and then you will tell mother yourself.

You won't be doing your sister any favors by continuing to lie for her. She could be headed for serious trouble if she continues to hang around with a drug dealer, no matter what quantity he peddles.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column.

E-mail him at www.thegreatestgift.com. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.