DR. WALLACE: I'm a 14-year-old girl, and for the last year I've had a stepfather. My mother remarried a little over a year ago, and this man has moved into our house and lived with us each and every day, of course.

At first, it was a huge shock to me, and I felt very intimidated and aloof toward him. However, now that about a year has gone by, I can see that he treats my mother very well and he is at least polite and nice to me. He kind of stays out of my way, and my mother makes all of the major decisions regarding my life, even including discipline.

The reason I'm writing in is that I still feel awkward around this man and I don't ever see myself calling him Dad or anything like that. A couple of times when I was alone with my mother, she suggested that I call him Dad at a point in the future if I ever felt comfortable doing so. Well, I'm nowhere near comfortable now and I don't know that I ever will be. Does this make me a bad person? My real father moved out of our country over three years ago and he has had no further contact with me. — Still Uncomfortable, via email

STILL UNCOMFORTABLE: The way you currently feel absolutely does not make you a bad person! You are in the midst of a difficult transition, and fortunately for you and your family it seems to be going along reasonably well even if it's taking a long time for things to adjust to feel more comfortable for you.

This man will never be your biological father, but he may over the years be able to do enough things for you and show enough respect toward you that you gradually grow more comfortable with him. As with all relationships within a family, they developed over time, and at least yours now appears to be on the right track.

Please realize that your feelings are quite normal, as I receive many letters from teens voicing roughly the same concerns that you're currently going through. Do your best to be as polite and friendly as you can, and I trust he will do the same toward you. Remember there is no time clock or deadline here at all. You're under no pressure to feel completely comfortable by any specific date, and in fact, if and when you do reach that level, you'll likely only realize it after the fact.

MY SECRET IS THANKFULLY OUT

DR. WALLACE: I'm a 17-year-old teenage girl, and after many years of hiding a terrible secret, I've come clean with my parents and family and admitted to them what I've been doing.

I'm now receiving treatment and am in the process of recovering from the eating disorder anorexia nervosa. When I was battling this affliction alone by myself, I assumed it was extremely rare and that I was the only person in my entire county dealing with this problem.

However, now that I've talked about it with counselors and many wonderful, caring adults and other teens that are rooting for me, I now realize that there are literally millions of sufferers of this disease in our country alone.

I'm writing to you today as part of my own personal journey toward recovery. I want to inform anyone who may read my letter here to not feel alone if they are suffering from anorexia nervosa. If even a few others read about my story and realize they're not alone and that they will receive nonjudgmental assistance, I feel this may spur others into coming public with their problems so that they can receive the treatment they totally deserve.

I thank you in advance if you might happen to print my letter in your column. — Been There and Trying Hard to Never Go Back, via email

BEEN THERE AND TRYING HARD TO NEVER GO BACK: I commend you for your concern for your fellow human beings and am accordingly happy to print your letter here.

Every word you're related in your letter was not only true but also likely will be quite helpful indeed to some readers of this column in places that are likely far away from where you live. The good news is that support groups and treatments for anorexia nervosa have never been better than they are here in 2022.

I highly recommend that anyone going through this painful debilitating and difficult disease feel the confidence to step up and seek assistance, hopefully based upon your story and your desire to put an end to the trauma you've experienced. Every sufferer of this terrible affliction deserves exactly that.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at rwallace@thegreatestgift.com. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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