DR. WALLACE: I'm 17 and so is my boyfriend. When we're alone, he treats me wonderfully. He's very kind and caring and always puts my best interests first. He's willing to hold my hand, put his arm around me and he makes sure to introduce me to all of his friends and family.

But a strange thing happens when we're out in public and there are adults around! He tends to act cold and distant. He won't hold my hand and he actually walks a few feet to the side of me like we're both strangers just walking somewhere.

At school, he's fine, even though there are teachers and school administrators on our campus. But in public settings, like a sporting event for our school, or anytime we're at the mall or a restaurant, he's quite distant. I haven't confronted him about this yet. Why do you think he does this? Is there anything I can do about it since it makes me feel quite uncomfortable? — It's Odd How He Changes, via email

IT'S ODD HOW HE CHANGES: It appears to me that he is self-conscious, especially around strangers and adults. This is actually quite common, but his walking so far apart from you might be something you can encourage him to move a bit closer, even if he doesn't want to hold hands. Walking normally close to someone and casually turning to talk to them won't draw any attention, so hopefully you can convince him to at least give that a try.

In time, as the two of you know each other better and he feels more comfortable as he ages, he's likely to gradually let his hesitation dissipate as his confidence increases.

My suggestion to you is to focus on the 90% of the time he treats you great and you two get along very well, rather than the small fraction of the time that he acts a bit aloof when unknown adults are present.

I HAVE A FIRM OFFER

DR. WALLACE: I have a marriage proposal from a guy I really like, but I'm not sure if I'm in love with him just yet. I'm 19 and he's 22, and he does have a steady job.

I've been living at home with my parents, working part-time, and it sounds enticing to me to potentially accept this proposal and begin my life on my own, or more specifically, beyond my parents' home. My parents are fine, but I feel I'm too old to be living under their roof.

What do you think about this? We've known each other for four months and his behavior has been steady, although a bit planned for my taste. There's absolutely nothing wrong with him, but I don't quite have the spark going.

Part of me thinks I'll learn to love him if I do end up marrying him, but another part of me is concerned that if things don't work out, I'll have no choice but to get divorced at a really young age. What do you think is the best way to handle his proposal? He gave it to me about four days ago, and I told him I needed time to think it over. — I Have a Marriage Proposal in Hand, via email

I HAVE A MARRIAGE PROPOSAL IN HAND: My advice to you and to anyone in your situation is not to marry simply to move from one living situation to another. Marriage should be saved for a really close, wonderful and loving relationship with someone you can't imagine being apart from.

You have readily admitted that, although you like this fellow, you find him a bit planned and if you're already bored now, can you imagine what several years of marriage will bring in terms of potential future weeks, months or years of boredom?

At your age, you should seek to date different people to get a feel for all the types of personalities and styles that exist. Eventually, you'll come across a person or two that really captures your interest. Be patient, and let life come to you rather than feeling you have to force things simply in an effort to move out of your parents' home.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at rwallace@thegreatestgift.com. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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