DR. WALLACE: I am a 20-year-old woman who needs your advice. I've had strong feelings for a guy that have lasted for several years. Yet, as of today, we would be considered to be just casual friends.

We see each other about once every two months when I visit my father in Atlanta, which is about 700 miles from my home. My parents are divorced, and I still live at home with my mom and my younger brothers. This guy and I met almost four years ago, and every time I see him, my feelings for him grow stronger! I visited a week ago, and I was surprised when he said he had good news to share with me.

However, the news he delivered was decidedly not good for me. Why? Because he said that, since my last visit a few months ago, he and a wonderful young lady had become engaged. I was shocked, but all I could manage to say was: "Good for you. I'm so happy for you." I chatted with him that last time only briefly and then left and have not seen him since. And I will admit that, since I've returned home, all I can think about is the good times I've spent talking with him over the years — and these thoughts are much more frequent than I would like them to be. I'm beginning to realize that my dreams are now permanently crushed. I feel so deflated and sick to my stomach.

My question is, should I contact him one more time, just in case there's a chance he might have feelings for me? I've even been wondering if his "news" was only a test, but he did actually go into quite a bit of detail about her, and he even showed me a picture of her on his cellphone. — Deeply Deflated, via email

DEEPLY DEFLATED: Don't contact him again unless he calls or texts you first. It's obvious that he has considered you a friend only. If you do get invited to his wedding, do go as a supportive friend.

You obviously are his very good friend, even though your feelings for him have run much deeper than his for you, at least in the romance department. And, after all, you live in another city that is 700 miles away, so it's natural that he would date women in his hometown area. Sadly, you can't recover the time that you could have been dating others during the time that has now passed.

The good news is that I can point out a life lesson for you here. It's going to be a painful one, but it might be useful to you down the line. If you ever find yourself in a situation similar to the one you've just experienced, be proactive. Tell the person in question that you have some feelings beyond friendship and that you'd be interested in exploring a date or two if the other person is interested.

Yes, this takes a lot of nerve and bravery, but it's worth it. If you do get a positive answer, then you have something potentially great to look forward to. If you get the opposite answer, then you can gracefully say that you completely understand and that you're willing to remain good friends. If the latter occurs, you might even ask to be set up on a date if your friend knows of anyone with similar character who might be suitable for you!

I WANT INK

DR. WALLACE: I'm a 16-year-old girl, and I really want to get a tattoo, but my parents won't let me. They said that after I'm 18 (or even 21!) and move out of their house, I can do whatever I want regarding tattoos. But they seem firm that I can't have one while I live at home right now.

So, I think I recall you were in the Navy, and I was hoping you got a tattoo so you can convince my parents that it's OK if I get one, too. — Seeking Ink, via email

SEEKING INK: Yes, indeed, I spent two years aboard ship in the U.S. Navy when I was a young man. However, I don't have any tattoos, so I can't vouch for you on this one.

My advice is not to get a tattoo, especially at your present age. Tattoos are pretty permanent, so I suggest you wait at least until the age of 21 before you even consider something you'll carry with you the rest of your life.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at rwallace@thegreatestgift.com. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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