DR. WALLACE: I'm a 13-year-old girl. I'm considered to be smart and pretty. I am also quite popular with boys. I like a certain boy in my class. He says that he likes me, too. I look at him many times in class, and he also looks at me. He is very sweet and nice and has a good sense of humor. We talk often and have decided to wait until we are older to take our relationship to the "next level."

But my so-called best friend, "Mary," expressed to me that she also likes this boy and is upset because I like him, too. Yesterday she told me she liked him before I did and she didn't want me talking with him anymore. Then she asked me what's more important, our friendship or my friendship with this boy. When I said our friendship is more important, she said, "Good, but if you ever talk to him again, our friendship is over."

I did continue talking with this boy, so "Mary" and I are no longer best friends. Did I do anything wrong? — Anonymous, via email

ANONYMOUS: You did not make a mistake, but your former best friend sure did. She lost a best friend and perhaps even a possible boyfriend, as well. If "Mary" asks to be friends with you again, say yes and welcome her back. Your grace might be well-received. If she does not communicate further with you, then she was not really much of a friend to begin with, unfortunately. At your age, things can change quickly, so please give second chances whenever you can, and try not to hold grudges. Over time, you'll maintain and even attract more friends that way.

PEER PRESSURE IS POWERFUL

DR. WALLACE: I'm a single mother of a 12-year-old boy. I read all the time about the peer pressure put on teens. What can I do now to ensure peer pressure on my son is minimal? — Worried Mother

MOTHER: Peer pressure is a powerful force. Teens want to be accepted and fear being rejected. Many teens will do things they don't feel comfortable doing just to gain acceptance with a group they strive to become a part of. You can't eliminate peer pressure from his life, but you can minimize its impact by establishing strong bonds of trust and communication now.

Monitor your son's friends, but not so tightly that he rebels and winds up with the wrong crowd just to spite you. Let him know he can always talk to you, even — or especially — when he's done something wrong. Promise you'll calmly talk things over, and explain that it's your job as a parent to help him make better decisions. As he grows older and gradually more independent, slowly give him responsibility as he is able to handle it, and encourage his participation in athletics and other extracurricular activities at school. All of this will help. The fact that you're thinking ahead about this subject makes me believe that both of you will do well when he hits the rocky teen years. Finally, take time to hold open discussions with other parents who have a similar mindset to yours. You'll find that you can mutually share good suggestions. Plus, it's great for every single parent to have a few supportive friends to lean on from time to time.

TV CAN HAVE A NEGATIVE INFLUENCE

DR. WALLACE: I am 14 and enjoy watching television. My teacher thinks that watching TV is a big waste of time. I disagree. I think it is educational and entertaining. How do you view it? — Watching and Learning

WATCHING: You've got a great play on words, but still, I've got to agree with your teacher for the most part. Of course, there are many educational and interesting programs on television these days that have value. But when the television viewer becomes a couch potato — switching channels from program to program because there is nothing else to do — watching television does indeed become a big waste of time. It also can have a very negative influence. By the age of 15, the average television viewer has witnessed 8,000 murders and over 150,000 violent acts on the tube.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at rwallace@thegreatestgift.com. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

Photo credit: at Pixabay