TEENS: Because we receive so many letters from young people who have a parent (or two parents) with a drinking problem, we would like to pass along the following helpful information. It comes from a newsletter published by Parents Who Care, an organization that helps teens cope with this often-devastating problem:

Parents are only human; they aren't perfect. Sometimes they drink too much. When they do, they wreak havoc on the whole family. Every activity is affected by whether Mom or Dad has been drinking. Meals, parties, trips or other activities may be postponed or cancelled.

Alcohol is an addictive drug, and most professionals believe that alcoholism is a disease. Parents are not bad people just because they lose control while drinking. They don't like being sick any more than you do.

It isn't necessary to know if your father or mother is actually an alcoholic, but you need to know what to do if his or her drinking is affecting your life and the lives of other family members.

First, you should know that you are not alone. In a classroom of 30 students, there will be three or four students who have one or more parents who drink too much. Because families often keep parental drinking a secret, you may not know other kids' situations, just as they probably don't know about yours.

Second, it's natural to feel embarrassed or ashamed that your parents drink too much. But it can make life easier to know that many other kids are dealing with the same issues and that there are things you can do to reduce embarrassment, such as learning how to talk to your friends about your situation.

Third, it's not your fault that your parents drink too much, even though you may feel it is. Nor is it possible for you to hide their bottles, water down their alcohol or try to act like a model child or teen to keep them from drinking.

What you should not do is ride in a car with a parent if he or she is drinking. And don't try to talk to your parents while they are drinking. They will just ignore you or get angry. Wait until your mom or dad is sober, and then let your parent know how concerned you are. If the one with the drinking problem won't listen, talk to the parent who doesn't drink.

If both parents have drinking problems, it may be necessary to go to other members of the family for help: older siblings, aunts, uncles, grandparents. You might want to speak with a teacher or counselor, a minister or rabbi, a youth group leader, a coach or other adult you can trust. The most important thing is to talk to some adult with whom you feel comfortable.

If you feel that you are in danger, take action immediately. Discuss your fears with family members or trusted adults, or if necessary, call the police. They are in the business to help people.

Meanwhile, get involved in school activities. This will give you something else to do besides worry about your home life. It's important for everyone to have some fun.

Teens who have family members with an alcohol problem should contact Alateen, a part of Al-Anon. Alateen will offer support and information on how to cope with loved ones who have drinking problems.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. E-mail him at rwallace@galesburg.net. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.