DR. WALLACE: Unfortunately, I'm addicted to a substance that I now know is not good for me. It's also illegal and even though I know logically I should avoid it for the rest of my life, I can't always be as strong as I'd like to be.

The sad truth is I just relapsed because it's summer, I found myself with some people I didn't know too well, and one thing led to another. I'll spare you all the details but let's just say I made a really stupid mistake.

Many people are beyond disappointed with me, and everyone close to me is aghast. Most of the people in my life just look away when I walk by and nobody seems to say much to me at all, but I know what they are thinking.

How do I make things up to them now? I know I can't make any promises since I just made a mistake nobody thought I would make.

I feel horrible and worthless. I just burned up 18 months of sobriety in one stupid hour last week. — I Know I Blew It, via email

I KNOW I BLEW IT: It's good that you are this concerned about your present circumstances. This shows that you still care deeply, and that you are extremely remorseful.

Seek out the friends and acquaintances you've had over the past 18 months who have helped you and apologize to them directly while simultaneously asking for their help and support going forward. They know that no one is perfect, and I trust they will still wish to support you and provide you with as much positive reinforcement and guidance as they can.

You also need to forgive yourself but be angry with yourself at the same time. You made a really stupid mistake and it's one that you should never allow yourself to repeat. You know exactly how you feel right now; let this feeling help drive you and support your mentality going forward.

Finally, be sure you learn your lesson about hanging out with people that you don't know too well with no other friend or support person near you. It's far easier to make a big mistake when you're away from people who care deeply about you and whose respect you wish to maintain.

I WAS SO STUNNED THAT I JUST TOLD HIM THE TRUTH

DR. WALLACE: My father surprised me by asking me the other day if I had ever tried drugs or alcohol. My father is a pretty solid guy, and he's been a great dad for many years. This is the first time he really put me on the spot, so I didn't know quite how to react.

I was so shocked that I couldn't lie to him. I told him that last summer I had smoked some cannabis with a few friends of mine three times, and I also tried a few different alcoholic drinks. I went on to explain that I was more curious than anything else, and that these substances didn't do much for me, and I knew my parents would be unhappy if they found out about it. Then I told my dad that I decided to end my "experimental phase" and that I have not touched anything like those substances since then.

I've focused on playing sports (I'm now a varsity player with one more year left) and my grades since I have college ambitions.

I could see his disappointment, but he thanked me for being honest with him. He said that there would be no need for him to lecture me since he felt I have since corrected my mistakes.

I don't really have a question, but I did want to mention via your column to other teenagers that being honest with your parents can be a good thing. I know this from personal experience and I just wanted to pass it on. — I Told the Truth, via email

I TOLD THE TRUTH: Thanks for your insightful letter outlining your own personal experience. Not all teens and parents have such open discussions that end so calmly.

But I agree that in almost all cases communication is the key between parents and teenagers. Yes, there can be many challenges and obstacles to overcome, but when honest dialogue is present and works both ways, the odds of a positive, respectful outcome rise dramatically.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at rwallace@thegreatestgift.com. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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